Joe West, Author at We Got This Covered

Joe West

Joe West is a freelance writer from the UK, covering film and video games while occasionally turning to reviews on camera to satisfy his engorged ego.

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Johnny Depp Poised For Pirates Of The Caribbean 5 Commitment

Johnny Depp looks likely to return as camp cockney corsair Captain Jack Sparrow in the fifth flamboyant outing of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, according to TheWrap. Depp reportedly took home $55 million for his role in On Stranger Tides, bringing his total earnings for the franchise to around $350 million.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Review (A Second Opinion)

The third live action Transformers film from director Michael Bay is upon us, rendered in 3D and splurged out in front of the audience like some kind of very expensive but entirely incomprehensible CGI soup.

Ben Affleck Casts Himself In Argo

Ben Affleck is going to be meddling behind the camera as well as showing off his acting chops in front of it for his upcoming movie Argo. The film, which also stars John Goodman and Alan Arkin, tells the true story of a CIA operative who carried out a daring mission to extract Canadian diplomats from the Iranian capital.

Keanu Reeves Bails On Akira

The production of Hollywood’s take on classic Anime cyberpunk masterpiece Akira has taken a hit after Keanu Reeves pulled out of the project. Quite how the 46 year old would have been able to pull of the role of Kaneda, the plucky teen hero of the piece, is perhaps a more pertinent point, and fans of the original are not likely to shed many tears at the news of his departure.

Tekken: Blood Vengeance Movie Trailer Revealed

There is a history of beat-em-ups getting turned into sub-par action flicks, with such massive gobbling turkeys as Dead or Alive, Double Dragon, and Street Fighter entering the blessedly short list of awful adaptations. Now it seems that the Tekken franchise is going to make the leap, complete with gimmicky animated 3D and the inevitable lashings of melodrama, according to CVG.

Priest is one of those films that snuck into the cinema without making much fuss about its arrival, like a sheepish teen returning home late at night and then having to slur their way through a parental encounter, echoing sobriety with rubbery limbs, unruly lips and poor excuses. A lack of marketing can suggest a lack of budget, but more often than not it indicates that the studios are worried about negative word of mouth getting round ahead of the launch and so they keep things quiet so as to dupe the first weekend’s worth of cinemagoers into seeing their product before they know any better. This certainly seems to be accurate in the case of Priest, an unknowingly hilarious, often dull supernatural action flick whose po-faced treatment of its watery comic book source material fails to recognise any of the underlying idiocies of its plot. While Thor managed to embrace the campy melodrama and have fun with it, the lacklustre gravitas which Priest possesses works against it and it just ends up feeling lazy.

Avatar Spoof Gets Green Light

A spoof of Avatar is inbound, exploding from the anuses that must surely be attached to the necks of the team that brought the world Date Movie, Epic Movie and Vampires Suck. Good job James Cameron’s indulgent off-world epic only came out in 2009 and is thus ripe for satire, much like all of the other targets that have been turned into the movie equivalent of coal by writing/directing duo and universal hate figures Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer during their improbably fruitful careers as cine-dicks.* The project’s title is The Biggest Movie of All Time 3D and according to Empire it will indeed be shot with glorious stereoscopic effects. For the viewer this means you will pay a little more to be disappointed by the sub-par, scattergun pop culture gags, served with a side of self-loathing.