The 16 Greatest Video Game Weapons Of All Time

Weapons, eh? Nearly every game has them and nearly every gamer has a preference, which means it's an unenviable task putting together a list of the best ones. But fear not, because I've approached it like a true critic, combing the archives for games I've long forgotten and booting up modern favorites to relive the glory of battle. From the golden oldies you might have missed to the unforgettable armaments we all know and love, there's something for everyone here - and no doubt a few omissions that'll rub you up the wrong way. It's inevitable, right? Think I've done a shocking job? Sound off in the comments section. Alternatively, leave a note praising my work. It's up to you. Either way, let's get ready for battle! 16) Flamethrower - Resident Evil 7 Every list needs a gas-guzzling, flame-spitting flamethrower to gawk over, and in Resident Evil 7 we have a new pinup. It's beautiful, it's visceral and it's timely. In a game where you’re counting bullets dropped from emptied cartridges like a starving man watching meal vouchers go down the drain, the ability to spit fire is an absolute lifesaver and keeps Resi’s nasties at bay long enough for you to catch your breath. Sweeter still is that it’s possible to miss entirely, and it's only if you find the required parts in mamma's outhouse that you'll be able to assemble this bad boy at all. Make sure you do though, because it's worth every drop of gasoline spilled. 15) Voodoo Doll - Blood Series The Blood games might not be the best of their time, or even fondly remembered, but they leave behind one of the sneakiest weapons of all: the Voodoo Doll. This bedraggled heap of cloth is actually an awesome killing machine. Point it at your enemies, jab it with a needle and watch them writhe in pain before disappearing in a puddle of… flesh. Better yet, have the temerity to poke the doll when no one is around and you’ll inflict damage on yourself. It’s a wonder more games haven’t borrowed a trick from the Blood handbook and emulated this devilish scrap of dark magic. 14) Batclaw - Arkham Series All right, so I’m stretching the definition of weapon here, but c’mon, you can’t leave out Rocksteady's Batman games; every gadget arrives with such pomp and ceremony and is added to the batbelt in such style that it'd be a disservice to geeks the world over to ignore the Dark Knight's assorted gadgets. But which one? Out of the lot, the Batclaw is the leader of the pack: a jack-of-all trades you can use to disorient enemies, interact with the world and swing through the Gotham skies. It’s this last ability that gives it lasting appeal and there’s nothing quite like vaulting into the sky and tethering yourself to a nearby building as you slingshot across the city at night. The Batclaw embodies Batman, and I’m happy with that. 13) Alien Blaster - Fallout 4 You’ll see flashes of activity in the night skies during your travels through the Fallout wasteland, but it’s the time you actually see a flash of light approaching the earth and the sounds of a distant crash that you’ll catch your breath. Yes, I’m talking about the UFO that crash lands near Vault 81 and leaves a downed pilot cowering inside a cave. Kill the alien and loot its belongings to uncover the Alien Blaster, a futuristic energy weapon that can vaporize enemies in a matter of seconds. It’s not the most powerful weapon in Fallout 4, but the joy of unearthing it coupled with its ability to down enemies in battle means the Alien Blaster has stayed in my memory long after I closed the book on the game. 12) Kurt’s Suit - MDK Series Many of you won’t have played MDK, and that’s a shame, because this third person action-adventure series from Shiny Entertainment is a long-forgotten classic, and one of the more original creations in the past twenty years. Front and centre is Kurt Hectic, a lowly janitor outfitted in a futuristic weaponized suit that houses a ribbon chute for gliding (much like Batman’s cape) and miniguns mounted to his forearm, with a sniper rifle for added good measure. What I like best is the way it looks: all gleaming black latex with a hammerhead shark for a helmet and Venom’s tendrils for a cape. It wouldn’t look out of place at a BDSM club, but that aside, Kurt’s suit is a wicked idea indeed. 11) The Magnum - Halo: Combat Evolved There’s something to be said for getting the first gun right, and in the M6D Personal Defense Weapon, Halo has its star: a powerful alien-mashing handgun that feels like a fitting palate cleanser for Master Chief’s daily diet of slain Covenant. This is no ordinary pea shooter. No, the magnum is a force to be reckoned and ejects heavy rapid-fire rounds with powerful recoil. Later games in the series produced their own versions of the classic magnum, but nothing can beat the crooked nose original with its signature silver sheen. Newer versions deviated from the original, either by changing the color of the matte finish or altering its firing rate, but as it turns out, perfection can’t be bettered. 10) M1 Garand - Medal Of Honor Series Despite being one of the more po-faced weapons on this list, the M1 Garand deserves to be remembered in the annals of gaming history. It’s a period-perfect recreation of the real 1940s firearm, completely with weighty recoil and a concussive rattle as rounds explode from its muzzle. It’s also satisfying to use in battle, and one of the standout weapons in the Medal of Honor franchise. 9) Land Shark Gun - Armed and Dangerous One day, someone went to work on Armed and Dangerous and loudly announced: “hey, wouldn’t it be fun to shoot a shark! No, not at a shark. Shoot a shark from a gun!” The assembled crowd shook off their look of horror and began nodding their heads. “Yes, yes,” they said. “That makes total sense.” “A gun that fires a shark,” one said. “And then the shark eats the enemy,” said another. The designers got together to plot this breakthrough in weapon design. Could a shark live inside a gun? How would it stay alive? How would it be projected? And how would it stay alive on ground? Screw it, they thought - the idea was too good to pass up and the rest was history. How right they were. 8) Shrink Ray - Duke Nukem Series Oh, Duke, what have you done? After appearing in your own platforming series you transitioned to three-dimensions in the riotous Duke Nukem 3D. So why did you come back and ruin it for us all in Duke Nukem Forever, revealing yourself to be the cad you are with the half-baked jokes and the same old moves? At the very least, the Shrink Ray remains a fixture of your stay, though I’d prefer to revisit it in 1995, rose tinted glasses firmly in place. At least then, your butt jokes made us laugh and your cigar didn’t look like an old man trying to be hip. 7) Portal Gun - Portal Series Valve can’t claim to have invented the idea of Portal, but they can take credit for recognizing talent when they see it. In 2005, a university project named Narbacular Drop was released in which a character navigated a level using interconnected portals. Impressed by the idea, Valve’s Gabe Newell, chief overseer and lord of the internet, hired the entire team to work on a fully-fledged standalone game. So a new series was born, and with it, one of the best “weapons” we’ve ever seen. The genius of Portal is the portal gun itself, in which two connected pathways are opened using a single gun. Where you place each opening determines whether you’ll navigate the puzzle. Portal might not involve bloodshed, but it’s managed to weaponize physics and make nerdiness cool. 6) Lancer - Gears Of War Series The Lancer is the meat and potatoes of the Gears of War series and the working man’s gun of the future. It never jams, never misses a beat, and combines an assault rifle with a chainsaw for one devastating entrée. It’s the go-to weapon for the COG in the fight against the alien invasion and a quasi-lightweight cannon that rattles enemies with lead. Let’s not forget its active reload ability either, which transforms the act of hitting a reload button from a passive activity into a minigame of its own. 5) Rail Gun - Quake 3 Arena The old me would have chosen the Rocket Launcher once upon a time, but the new me - wiser and older - has plumbed for the Rail Gun, a symphony of violence and a one-shot killing machine. Stab the trigger at precisely the right moment and you'll send your foe into a cloud of giblets, but miss, and you'll be forced to wait a few agonizing seconds for it to cool down. It demands patience and mastery, and it's become a staple of competitive multiplayer since. A connoisseur's weapon, the Rail Gun rewards precision with satisfying aplomb. 4) Cerebral Bore - Turok 2 Any time you can send a parasite burrowing into a monster’s head and watch blood spewing from its eyeballs like paint, pull the trigger. Sorry, I sound a bit deranged, but if you’ve never born witness to the carnage that is the Cerebral Bore you’ll be forgiven for thinking there’s any going back. There’s not. The Cerebral Bore is the sole reason to pick up Turok 2 today, if only to witness the sheer carnage that unfolds. 3) BFG - Doom And Doom 2016 I liken the BFG to the legendary death destroyer from Harry Potter series, He Who Must Not Be Named, who was so feared his name was never uttered in public. Likewise, the BFG is a weapon of mass destruction so legendary that it should only be nodded at and admired, never mentioned out loud. Informed by the 1990s school of design that necessitated bigger is better (ain’t that true), this behemoth fills the screen and fills enemies with dread, before eviscerating the crowds, leaving a cloud of giblets pooled together like chop suey. 2) Flak Cannon - Unreal Series From the concussive snort of shrapnel shooting from its snout, to the burning hot embers pinpalling around the room as it leaves scattershot destruction in its wake, the Flak Cannon is poetry in motion. Part shotgun, part launcher, it has made an indelible mark on the Unreal series since its debut in the original 1998 game, and it remains a highlight of every subsequent sequel. It’s visceral, bloody-minded entertainment and I love it. 1) Gravity Gun - Half-Life 2 And Episodes Half-Life 2 is a seminal shooter and a work of art, but the entrance of the gravity gun during its sixth chapter - Ravenholm - elevates the game to demi-god status. Even thirteen years on, the ability to manipulate objects in the world and pelt them at enemies brings with it a kind of visceral joy and Ravenholm is an appropriate stage for the gravity gun’s bow; an abandoned mining town home to the long undead. Explore its treasures and you’ll find all manner of impromptu weapons waiting at the ready. Just then, with your gravity gun poised and buzzsaw suspended above its electrical tendrils, a shambling monstrosity lurches into view and the cruel brilliance of it all snaps sharply into focus.