7 Video Games That Have Terrible, Terrible Artificial Intelligence

In this next-gen era where we're all obsessed with graphics, AI (or artificial intelligence) is something of an underdog. It's the lame, divorced uncle that no one wants to sit next to at dinner parties. The one who also happens to be a trash collector for a living, which means that - much like the AI in games - he's utterly necessary but frequently undervalued.

4) GTA IV (2008)

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GTA IV under arrest

Maybe I’m just imagining it,’ I think to myself as I pop the disc in to check. ‘Maybe my memory is a little tainted or hazy. The police AI can’t have been that bad.‘ Then, just as I finish that thought, I accidentally – and gently – bump into a policeman’s car. The officer steps out and declares that I’m “really starting to piss him off,” before immediately opening fire on me.

I drive away panicking, but before long have I seem to have half of the Liberty City Police Department hunting me. They hurtle down the streets, carelessly mowing down pedestrians and even – at one point – a group of other officers. They unflinchingly smash into lampposts and street vendors while tracking me. Despite this, I’m actually driving slowly, maintaining proper roadcraft. I’m stopping at red lights and junctions, but every time I do, three or four police cars will career into me like it’s some kind of deep South destruction derby.

Despite committing no crime, I decide this madness must end. I hand myself in. I step out of the car and stand motionless. One of the burning police cars (that the LCPD themselves set alight to whilst in reckless pursuit of me) explodes, killing several more innocent bystanders. “Son of a bitch!” the cop yells at me. Although I still haven’t moved a muscle, they reign down machine gun fire on my position. In the background, a violent but unrelated street fight is in progress, with no officers paying attention.

Yes,‘ I think to myself. ‘The AI is completely terrible.


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Author
Ciaran Utting
CiarĂ¡n Utting loves video games and books with pictures of speedboats on the cover. There's plenty more of his drivel on Twitter.