10 Films From 2016 That We Wish We Could Unsee

While every year seems to bring with it at least a couple of major disappointments, 2016 seems to have been a particularly weak outing for film. The gems were hidden few and far between and more often than not, we left the theater feeling underwhelmed, upset or just plain angry at what we'd just watched. It was a year that saw one of the most anticipated films of all-time become one of the most divisive and several promising sequels fall spectacularly short. It was also a year in which fans finally believed that the video game adaptation genre could finally succeed, only to find nothing but disappointment - once again. We try not to be cynical, but when we had to sit through films like Collateral Beauty, Warcraft and Nine Lives, among other turds, it's hard to be enthusiastic about the year in movies. Out of everything we saw in 2016 though, what you'll find here are the worst of the worst. The biggest wastes of time and the titles that had us in near disbelief at just how bad they turned out to be. Without further ado, here are the 10 films from 2016 that we wish we could unsee. 10) Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Perhaps the most divisive film of the year, Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice has split critics and audiences alike right down the middle. While it does have its fans, and those fans will defend it vehemently (arguing that it's becoming a cult classic), the general consensus is definitely one of disappointment. Zack Snyder's colossal superhero showdown was a failure on almost every level, fumbling hard what could have been one of the best superhero movies of all-time. Where to even begin with this one? The lack of fun? The dark, grim tone? The under-cooked villains? The nonsensical plot? It's hard to pinpoint exactly what went wrong here because quite frankly, very little of the film works. Ben Affleck's performance as the Caped Crusader is solid and effective, but that aside, there's not a whole lot here that's worth your time. Batman V Superman, while an undeniably monumental risk in the arena of superhero filmmaking, is also a catastrophically failed gamble, a mess of devastating proportions. Our very own Isaac Feldberg said it best in his review: The biggest problem with Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice: its bombast is devoid of meaning, its plot is monstrously incoherent, and, given that, in terms of it functioning as actual cinema, the film is entertaining for perhaps 10 minutes out of its 153. This is, in the end, a superhero movie muffled so completely that it feels lifeless. The plot is atrocious because Snyder isn’t focused on it nearly as much as he is establishing a narrow, confining tone for WB and DC’s now jeopardized world. And that miscalculation should – if there’s any real justice in this sorry situation – prove as ruinous to the future of the studio’s superhero slate as it does to this bloated, banal, and block-headed whiff. 9) Passengers What do you get when you take two of the hottest stars in Hollywood and throw them together in a sci-fi flick boasting an intriguing premise and a hot up and coming director? One of the best films of the year, you might say. And while you'd be forgiven for thinking that, we're here to tell you that unfortunately, you couldn't be more wrong. Passengers, starring Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, is a sorely misguided effort from all involved, dropping the ball on what could, and should have been an excellent movie. It's not necessarily the actors' fault, as they do work well together, showing some palpable chemistry and holding things together as best they can. Rather, it's the story which ultimately lets everyone down. While it starts off promisingly enough, things quickly unravel and the film runs out of steam early on, hitting all the beats you'd expect it to, presenting more plot holes than you can count and coming across as awfully bland and even morally questionable in the process. 8) Alice Through The Looking Glass Even the most forgiving Tim Burton fans will admit that 2010's diluted Alice in Wonderland wasn't the director's finest hour. Yet, the Lewis Caroll adaptation earned over a billion dollars around the world, thanks in large part to the once-profitable 3D boom and Johnny Depp's once-beloved screen presence. As such, we're now bestowed with Alice Through a Looking Glass, a wonky, unbecoming, unwelcomed live-action sequel that should've remained late for its "very important" date. Every single person on-screen, from Mia Wasikowska struggling in the titular role to Anne Hathaway sleepwalking through her part as the White Queen, looks as if they'd rather be doing anything else other than appearing in this contractually-obligated snoozer. Even Sacha Baron Cohen, as a goofy, loopy personification of Time, seems to grow tired of his own self-amused antics. Replacing producer Burton in the director's chair, the immensely-talented James Bobin (The Muppets, Flight of the Conchords) brings little-to-none of the wonder, heart or imagination that's found bubbling throughout his other, much better work, opting to instead fall suit with the obligations bequeath onto him by Disney's hawk-eyed studio suits. Charmless, uninspiring, strained and deeply unenthused, Alice Through the Looking Glass was among the year's most unwelcomed, unconvincing sequels — and that's saying something in 2016, the year of The Huntsman: Winter's War and Ice Age: Collision Course. When it comes to peaking through this looking glass, we suggest you take a hard pass. But you probably figured as much already. 7) Nine Lives Garbage. Pure garbage. That's the best way to describe this stinking turd of a film. How Kevin Spacey got suckered into this we'll never know, but he's surely regretting it now. Excruciating to sit through (even at 90 minutes) and painfully unfunny thanks to some very lazy writing, there honestly may not be a bigger waste of time this year than Nine Lives, and in what's been a pretty mediocre 12 months for film, that's really saying something. Our very own Matt Donato put it best in his review: Sonnenfield’s vision bounces around without a care in the world, unflinching in the face of tonal constructs as his writing collective shows absolutely no deftness in balancing light quips with irrationally dark behavior. Spacey ends up playing a less-interesting Richard Branson in cat form, who tries to piss all over his problems in the most literal sense – and not a single person tries to stop him. Pure. F&$*ing. Genius. And by “pure f&$*ing genius,” I mean “who in their right mind let EuropaCorp shoot themselves in the foot so epically.” 6) Warcraft Duncan Jones came into Warcraft with lofty, noble intentions. In his desire to give Blizzard Entertainment's wickedly popular multiplayer online role-playing game franchise the epic, sprawling cinematic dramatization that many fans, including Jones, have craved for years, the Moon/Source Code filmmaker opted to make his own Tolkienesque adventure fantasy that would dazzle the screen, expand upon its beloved universe and inspire the next generation of video game-based film adaptations. Unfortunately, Warcraft wasn't that movie. Instead, it was a bloated, disorientating, frustrating and ultimately boring, if wildly ambitious and often optimistic, hundred million-plus dollar failure that, alongside the similarly meandering Assassin's Creed, proved (or, at least suggested) that maybe - just maybe - video games will never find a comfortable, withstanding home in the multiplex. Overstuffed with mythology, overcome with dull performances (minus Toby Kebbell's empathetic, impressionistic orc, Durotan, realized beautifully in state-of-the-art motion-capture technology) and overstimulated with its wide-reaching universe, which never quite feels as homey and immersive as Middle-Earth, even in The Hobbit adaptations, Warcraft was overwhelming and underwhelming all at once — an eyesore, an incessant, derivative bore, and, at times, an admirable failure from one of the most promising, if temporarily misguided, young directors in Hollywood. Here's hoping Netflix's forthcoming Mute, another passion project from the blooming filmmaker, lives up to its own high expectations. 5) Independence Day: Resurgence Once you heard that Will Smith wouldn't be involved, you just knew Independence Day: Resurgence would be a dud, didn't you? It's unfair to judge a book by its cover of course, but we always had a bad feeling about this one, and it turns out we were right. While there's no doubt that Roland Emmerich is just as adept at creating visual spectacle as he was all those years ago, this mindless, bland and completely inept sequel is a failure on almost every count. To put it lightly, Resurgence is more of less one big "here we go again!" moment on repeat, with the entire cast and crew clearly hoping that the nostalgia is enough to distract viewers from the horribly generic story that's playing out on screen. Lacking the tension and charisma, not to mention the fun, of the original, this sci-fi blockbuster could be classified as nothing but pure popcorn entertainment, but even that would be too kind. Independence Day: Resurgence is an ugly sequel, one that was lazily slapped together and offers nothing of value. If you're looking for alien invasion flicks from 2016, you can do much, much better than this. 4) Mother's Day Throughout his career, Garry Marshall changed the face of entertainment. In addition to creating classic television series like Laverne & Shirley and Happy Days, he directed several popular films like Pretty Woman, Beaches and Overboard. His death this year is even sadder then, considering that this saccharine mess turned out to be his final directorial project. Marshall’s third consecutive ensemble comedy centering on a holiday (alongside Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve), Mother’s Day is the type of film that throws so much at the screen and hopes in vain that audiences are too distracted by big-name talent like Julia Roberts, Jason Sudeikis and Kate Hudson to notice the lack of anything compelling in any of its multiple storylines. Emotionally manipulative and predictable, Mother’s Day feigns a mission to celebrate the all-important bond of motherhood. However, the ludicrously obvious lack of effort causes the entire production to ring hollow. Ultimately, the film reveals itself to be nothing more than another attempt to frontload a movie poster with recognizable faces in an effort to convince the unsuspecting moviegoing public that it might be worth their time. 3) Zoolander 2 Pointless cameos (Justin Bieber? Neil Degrasse Tyson? Benedict Cumberbatch?!) and rehashed gags - all of which are painfully unfunny - populate this sequel to director/co-writer/star Ben Stiller’s well-regarded 2001 comedy. This time around, the “ridiculously good-looking” male model (Stiller) and his friend/colleague Hansel (Owen Wilson) are wrapped up in another convoluted scheme, this one involving former nemesis Mugatu (Will Ferrell) and designer Alexanya Atoz. Yet, whereas the original film employs its talented cast in a satirical look at the fashion industry, the sequel has literally nothing to offer fans besides incessant callbacks and a seemingly endless parade of terrible ideas (the 102-minute runtime feels far, far longer, we assure you). Those who may have been excited about Derek Zoolander’s return to the screen can easily skip this one. Rather than breathing new life into the character, Zoolander 2 continues to confirm - along with films like Dumb and Dumber To and Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - that some comedies really should never get a sequel, let alone one that arrives a decade-plus after its predecessor. Talk about a missed opportunity. 2) Collateral Beauty The fact that Collateral Beauty managed to waste such an incredible cast should be reason enough to land it on this list, but it's also the film's ill-conceived, emotionally manipulative plot, that really left a bitter taste in our mouths here. Offensive on so many levels, and at times just plain stupid, we often wonder how Collateral Beauty even got made in the first place. Not even a cast that includes Will Smith, Edward Norton and Kate Winslet can improve the situation, as they all deliver subpar work and look tired and bored while doing so. It also doesn't help matters that the story is completely incoherent and falls off the rails far too soon, leaving you stranded in a film that just keeps getting worse and worse as it goes on. Our own Matt Donato said it best in his review: Collateral Beauty is just another wolf in sheep’s clothing, happy to prey on your most innocent feelings without a lick of respect for human elements – don’t mistake it for anything else. 1) London Has Fallen Filed strictly under the "sequels that no one asked for" category, London Has Fallen is a big, dumb, mean film, an ugly cocktail of mind-numbing action and miasmic xenophobia that serves no purpose other than to entertain domestic audiences by touting American greatness and fanning the flames of (this time) anti-Middle Eastern sentiment. Some may even say it's downright vile in its constant glorification of violence, and while we wouldn't necessarily go that far, we can safely say that there are no redeeming qualities to be found here. All that aside though, and this film is still an absolute disaster. Full of action cliches and completely implausible events, not to mention some pretty shoddy effects work throughout, London Has Fallen is an unbearable piece of work. Seriously, sitting through this one is painful and a truly unpleasant experience. Olympus Has Fallen, while flawed, was still watchable. This though, well, this is something else entirely. Avoid like the plague! Looking for something a bit more cheerful? Be sure to check out our list of the Top 10 Movies of 2016 below.