10 Hilariously Inaccurate Historical Epics

For reasons unbeknownst to most logical human beings, moviegoers will soon be "treated" to Pompeii, a historical epic from Paul W.S. Anderson, the man who delivered such modern masterpieces as Resident Evil and The Three Musketeers. For fans of Kit Harington's chiseled abs, the film may prove to be well-worth shelling out a extra few dollars for 3D, but for the rest of us, Pompeii will likely hold little more than a few eye-catching explosions and a heaping of laughable moments instantly questionable by any of us who can point Italy out on a map. Even die-hard Anderson fans may be turned off once they realize that Milla Jovovich is nowhere to be found and, even if she was, it would be really, really hard for her to punch, kick and shoot her way through millions of tons of volcanic ash.

6) JFK

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JFK

Sure, it’s not technically an epic, but no list of historically inaccurate Hollywood movies would be complete without this conspiratorial lark. Oliver Stone’s film about the Kennedy assassination might as well be called J WTF K for all the liberties it takes. Most prominently, Stone implies that Lyndon B. Johnson was involved in a shady coup d’etat to whack Kennedy, a pretty radical departure from what kids learn about in eighth grade history class.

For another, he makes up things like David Ferrie, a suspect of protagonist David Garrison, confessing to having a role in the conspiracy. Actually, Ferrie vehemently denied the existence of any such conspiracy and even suggested taking a lie-detector test to prove he was telling the truth. There are a lot of similar issues with JFK. Garrison’s testimony, which historical records tell us was influenced by heavy drug use, is taken as gospel by Stone. Many of Garrison’s theories about the assassination are just plain ridiculous, as well as easily dismissible if you glance at official records surrounding the JFK assassination.

People have written essays about and devoted book chapters to the startling amount of inaccuracies and straight-up lies in JFK. Stone’s film plays fast and loose with the facts to craft a satisfying thriller, but the result is one of cinema’s most hilariously inaccurate misrepresentations of American history. Stone defends his film by saying that it shouldn’t be taken as a biopic, but when he gave the film the name JFK, he must have known that audiences would go in expecting a film about JFK. That Stone attempts to tie everyone in government to the assassination except Harvey Lee Oswald is simply laughable, but what’s a lot less funny is how boldly he dresses his historical fantasy up as historical fact.


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