The 5 Worst Comedy Movies Of 2012

%name The 5 Worst Comedy Movies Of 2012

Comedy is probably the hardest genre to get right. You never know just how people are going to take a joke, even if it’s hilarious on paper. Many films try admirably to have audiences rolling in the aisles, only to have them snigger occasionally and fake guffaw – and usually because they feel bad for the filmmakers or actors they like. Writing funny jokes on paper and then hiring actors who can deliver said jokes exactly as intended – enough to make audiences believe as though that’s the first time the joke has ever been said – is freakin’ tough.

Most comedies don’t make it out of the theatre with their dignity still in tact as a result. The majority are so bad, in fact, that they don’t even garner the pity laugh: instead, they leave audiences in a state of shock, wondering just how a team of talented human beings got together and shot for months on end, convinced that the end results would prove good enough to amuse people.

Generally speaking, this year has been a pretty awful year for good comedy films – especially if Ted is considered one of the best to have emerged, given that it’s utterly average in every way. Join us as we countdown the absolute worst comedy movies of 2012, though – movies so bad that they should be considered genuine crimes against comedy and all who strive to bring honor to the genre.

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5. The Three Stooges (Dir. Peter and Bobby Farrelly)

 

The movie: Helmed by a couple of former comedy kings, this “remake” is based around the infamous comic trio, one which drags the Stooges into an uncomfortable modern setting for a feature film comprised of three loosely-linked “episodes”. Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes, and Will Sasso (all of whom you’re struggling to picture, I’m sure) play Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard respectively.

Why it’s awful: What happened to the Farrelly Brothers? At which point did they cease to understand what qualifies as funny? And how did they expect something like this to speak to audiences in 2012? Though perhaps it could’ve been a whole lot worse (the actors are fairly good at imitating their characters), The Three Stooges is a laborious affair, the kind of comedy that has you checking your watch hoping it’s almost over, only to realise that you’re just twenty minutes in and there’s a Lobster-throwing scene on the horizon.

Worst of all, the flick offers nothing fresh to the Stooges’ legacy, meaning that this is never much more than a numbing waste of time. It’s probably quite possible for somebody to sit through this – as a fan of the original Stooges or not – and not laugh even once, depending on how well you react to relentless slapstick and eye-poking gags. Simply put, The Three Stooges is one of the most annoying comedies to emerge this year. Which may or may not have been the point, I suppose, but where’s the charm?

Low point: “So, you boys on Facebook? I’ll poke you. Better yet, I’ll tweet you.” Ugh.

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4. What To Expect When You’re Expecting (Dir. Kirk Jones)

 

The movie: Taking its cues from a very famous pregnancy book of the same name – a book which in no way follows a narrative structure or contains characters of any kind – What To Expect When You’re Expecting gathers a large ensemble cast and puts five couples through the trials and horrors of pregnancy, albeit in a way that audiences have seen a million times before in a million movies that are exactly like this one (only, uh, better).

Why it’s awful: Despite its talented cast – which consists of Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Chris Rock and Dennis Quaid, to name a few that you’ve heard of - What To Expect When You’re Expecting is a load of old drivel – a rom-com that makes zero effort to stand out from the crowd, and delivers the most obvious jokes at the most obvious points.

The crime, here, is ultimately the script, which only seems to consist of cliches and dumb dialogue clues. There’s no love or magic or passion: it’s stale and overly sentimental and utterly boring, with many of the actors just phoning in performances that seem more like tired rehearsals. I’d imagine that actually giving birth for the length of this movie’s run time would be a far less painless experience. And a much more pleasurable one, at that.

Low point: All of it. Every sequence struggles against banality, as if banality were a bad thing (this movie would of loved to have been banal).

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3. That’s My Boy (Dir. Sean Anders)

 

The movie: Adam Sandler plays another schmuck who – whilst still a kid in school – gets his teacher pregnant (?). When he grows up, he decides to track down his son, played by Andy Samberg, and proceeds to drag the actor down to Adam Sandler movie-level, which is the kind of place where Hollywood nightmares are made.

Why it’s awful: Forget the fact that Adam Sandler seems to be caught in a depressing whirlwind made up of one terrible comedy after another, That’s My Boy might be the worst flick he’s made yet, and that’s including the laugh-free hellstrom that was last year’s Jack & Jill. Okay, maybe not: nothing is as bad as Jack & Jill, but That’s My Boy isn’t far off. There’s maybe two or three “jokes” that actually work over the course of this thing, none of which are particularly noteworthy – it’s just that they don’t make you sigh like all the others do.

This movie makes light of all sorts of strange topics, such as pedophilia, rape and incest, though never with an ounce of intelligence, choosing instead to just brush over them and expect people to laugh just because, hey, look what we’re casually skimming over like it’s normal. The fact that poor Andy Samberg signed onto this just makes the whole experience even more unbearable – you can actually see the shame on his face for the entirely of the movie. Bah.

Low point: Adam Sandler does another one of his weird voices throughout, which is even more annoying than you’d expect.

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2. Madea’s Witness Protection (Dir. Tyler Perry)

 

The movie: Madea – a fat quipping black woman played by Tyler Perry and star of many other Madea-titled movies – takes in the Needlemans, a family confined to the Witness Protection Program after being wrongly associated with a Mafia crime. A vague plot ensues, in which common sense is thrown out and replaced with… well, nothing.

Why it’s awful: Tyler Perry is the most overpaid person working in Hollywood today. I mean, I know he’s not a critical success so to speak, but I use the word overpaid because he obviously has a huge fanbase and makes a ton of cash, all of which is horribly undeserved. Don’t people understand that Perry is just insulting them with every movie he makes? Yes, Perry fans, the man is selling you the same vehicles over and over again in vaguely dissimilar packages, most of which are made with so little care and effort that he shouldn’t be able to get away with it. And yet…

Madea’s Witness Protection just reeks of half-assed complacently. The jokes fall flat at every turn, and any novelty in the fact that, wow, Perry is dressed as a fat woman, has worn off long ago. The real problem, though, is in the execution, which doesn’t feel like a labor of love that just didn’t come together – no, that would have been admirable, at least. This feels like a money-maker for the sake of being a money-maker… and though that’s primarily the reason that films exist in the first place – to generate profit – this movie treats it audiences like a bunch of morons. And to be perfectly honest, if you go and see another Madea film after this one, that’s exactly what you are.

Low point: At one point, a character asks for Wi-Fi. Madea replies: ”Sure, I can make you a waffle.”

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1. A Thousand Words (Dir. Brian Robbins)

 

The movie: A Thousand Words stars Eddie Murphy as a fast-talking literary agent who isn’t afraid to bend the truth to get what he wants. A magical tree appears with 1000 leaves on it, a clumsy symbol used to explain that Murphy only has 1000 words left in him for some reason, and he’ll die when he’s uttered them all. Um. What?

Why it’s awful: The fact that this steaming pile of Hollywood bullshit has been gestating in the Dreamworks’ archives for four years was good enough reason to suspect it’d be a tragedy from the off-set, but there’s really no explaining just how bad A Thousand Words actually is, ‘less you realise that the premise involves Eddie Murphy not being able to speak.

Yes, an actor renowned for his motor-mouthed tendencies and recognisable voice is stripped of his greatest assest, meaning that we’re just watching somebody doing stuff, limiting his vocals, and not saying anything amusing as a result. Whichever executive passed this script on to Murphy’s agent should be made to watch this thing on a never-ending loop until he or she agrees to personally refund everybody who paid to see such an ill-judged turd of a movie. They even left the four-year-old (and extremely dated) jokes in, which is bizarre, to say the least, considering that somebody must have watched this to make sure it still made sense.. Truly, the worst comedy of the year, and perhaps even the worst comedy of all-time. It’s that sucky.

Low point: Forget the movie… the fact that this thing has 0% on Rotten Tomatoes speaks volumes. Eddie Murphy needs to retire.

Agree or disagree with our choices for the worst comedy movies of 2012? Which comedy movies forced you to reconsider the act of being alive? Let us know in the comments section below.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Harding/100000145858394 Mark Harding

    I didn’t think the 3 Stooges was really bad. The Farrellys knew they were taking a big gamble with this, trying to revive an old classic act. This has been talked about for decades only to be dropped at the last minute. Most filmmakers concluded that the Stooges were so unique you really couldn’t touch them.
    But the Farrellys came pretty close if not completely in capturing the style and spirit of these guys. The dead on impressions they did were really good. And it was kind of fun with the slightly more risque elements in the humor that the original Stooges would have never gotten away with in the 30s like Curly farting in the water.
    Close Farrellys, but only half a cigar.

  • Charged09

    I’m a bit surprised “The Watch” wasn’t on this list due to the 0% it got on this site. I haven’t seen any of these movies and I don’t plan on it

  • stephanie

    i don’t agree with what to expect when your expecting, madea or that’s my boy. I don’t care what people think i loved those movies. lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1420262745 Paige Coker

    Would OF loved? Write much?