8 Disappointing Movies That Should Have Been Great

Is there anything worse than being disappointed by a movie? Think of the ones you waited patiently and eagerly for, only to discover that everything you imagined in your head hadn't made it up onto the screen. Like, at all. There are certain movies that had the odds weighed against them from the very start, and we're not going to be dealing with those here: think George Lucas territory, what with The Phantom Menace and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. You willed them to be amazing, of course, but you knew the chances of success were on the lower end of the spectrum: in those cases, George Lucas is a generally lousy filmmaker, and the hype machine was in maximum overdrive.

6) The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) (Dir. Steven Spielberg)

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What We Thought Before: Given the huge success that was Jurassic Park, who wouldn’t want Spielberg to return for another slice of dinosaur-based mayhem? And with Jeff Goldblum – definitely the original film’s best and most enjoyable character – in the lead? Yes please.

What We Got: Something that feels like it’s trying to be a Steven Spielberg film by somebody who isn’t Steven Spielberg. A surprisingly hollow affair from the sentimental master, devoid of the magic that surrounded the original. There are some good sequences, but there’s nothing here that wasn’t done better in the first film, making this sequel utterly pointless in every way. Even Jeff Goldblum can’t bring some spark to the material, his character having been greatly reduced of its charisma and fun and swapped for that of the straight man. Oh, and that f*cking scene where that kid gymnastic-kicks a velociraptor is absolutely the worst.

What They Should Have Done: Developed its characters more, essentially bringing something to this movie that even the original lacked. That way, even when the SFX sequences don’t astound the second time round, the movie would have the depth of story that would make it a worthwhile entry.

Redeeming Features: The RV suspended over the cliff is one of Spielberg’s best ever set-pieces. And it’s fun to see a T-Rex stalking the mainland for a bit, isn’t it?

5) The Beach (2000) (Dir. Danny Boyle)

What We Thought Before: Alex Garland’s perfect meditation on backpacker culture is ripe for cinematic adaptation, given that the novel’s writing style reads like that of a screenplay and the man himself admitted to being far more influenced by movies than books. With Danny Boyle at the helm (who made two of the best British films of the 90s), they’ve hired a director who can actually get to the heart of the material. It can’t possibly fail.

What We Got: A complete misreading of the source material, with a ham-fisted ending that utterly defies the point of the entire book. The first twenty minutes are great in their attempt to capture the tone of the book, but after that the movie descends into a horrible mediocrity. Why remove the darker aspects of the novel? And though Leonardo DiCaprio is alright as protagonist Richard, the character was unabashedly English in the book – having an American in the lead just doesn’t feel right.

What They Should Have Done: Stuck to the much better source material, which basically serves as an in-depth blueprint for a great film adaptation. Barely anything needed to be changed.

Redeeming Features: There are a few inspired casting choices, especially with Robert Carlyle as mad Scotsman Daffy Duck.


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