8 Classic Horror Films That Hollywood Might As Well Remake

With the Poltergeist remake now in theatres and the recent announcement of a remake of The Craft, it begs the question: are there any classic or cult horror films that have not been remade or are not now in the pipeline for a remake? The answer is yes, of course there are. There are only so many hours in a day, so many film releases in a year, and Hollywood can’t get around to remaking all of the great horror films of yesteryear at once. They’ve got to pace themselves. Maybe they need some suggestions, though, so here are a few classic and cult horror films that Hollywood might as well remake. An American Werewolf in London John Landis’s seminal werewolf movie boasted 80s hairstyles, a rather apropos soundtrack, a likable werewolf, and some amazing practical effects from maestro Rick Baker. The tale of a young American bitten by a werewolf while touring the English countryside embraces both horror and comedy as he grapples with the realities of becoming a werewolf. He’s haunted by the best friend he may have accidentally murdered, and a more corporeal young woman who just wants to help him. With plenty of body horror and a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek humor, this was the werewolf movie that reinvigorated the sub-genre. An American Werewolf in London was only made about thirty years ago, which in the memory-span of contemporary Hollywood makes it ancient. If you’re going to start remaking classics, might as well go for a film that played with subverting well-known tropes and see if you can subvert a subversion. The Tingler The Tingler is one of spectacle director William Castle’s most notorious films. A mad scientist discovers a little organism that lives on our spines and grows bigger when we’re frightened, only to shrink again after the relief of a scream. Once our crazy scientist has isolated the little fear monster and removed it from the spine, it keeps growing, scootching along the floor like a weird parasitic worm and terrorizing everyone in its path. Castle’s film is weird to begin with, made weirder by the gimmick he used of wiring theater seats with electric wires to shock the audience at climactic moments in the film. Despite the gimmicks, the underlying premise of The Tingler is bizarrely clever. Wiring up theater seats might get you sued nowadays, but it’s not a necessary part of the movie – and in all honesty, the original film has so many problems anyways that you might as well take the basic story and do your own thing with it. The Howling The Howling is An American Werewolf in London’s low-budget cousin, featuring a similar story of transformation and crazed lycanthropes, this time residing in the mountains of California. A newswoman who has been tracking down a psychotic killer is almost killed by the same, resulting in her slight nervous collapse. Her psychiatrist recommends rest and relaxation at his retreat in the mountains, so off she goes with her husband in tow to grapple with a whole pack of lycanthropes. The film is firmly tongue-in-cheek as only director Joe Dante can do it, with characters sporting names of famous werewolf movie directors, eating “Wolf Chili,” and arguing about the intricacies of werewolf culture. The Howling is actually set for a remake even as we speak. While it can never hope to approximate the low-budget deliciousness of the original, I can only pray that the remake keeps the animated werewolf sex. The Invisible Man H.G. Wells’ inspired science fiction and horror classic The Invisible Man inspired an equally iconic film starring Claude Rains as the man who, uh, makes himself invisible and causes a lot of panic by being a total jerk about it. The film is naturally much better than that description, a rumination on the ends to which science can go and the corruption of absolute power. The Invisible Man has already received several remakes, including in its own time period and in the form of the Kevin Bacon film Hollow Man. The original novella, however, has never been properly done and could actually make a pretty damn decent movie in the hands of a good director. Of all the films on this list, this is one that I actually wouldn’t mind seeing remade. Bride of Frankenstein If you’re going to remake classics, you might as well go for broke. While Frankenstein has been remade many times, no one has ever really attempted to do Bride of Frankenstein. The original film’s even weirder, creepier sequel, it not only brings back the iconic monster and gives him a girl, but it also pits Dr. Frankenstein against Dr. Praetorius, a mad scientist as twisted as a Tesla coil who likes making tiny people to put into jars. Pretty much everyone already knows the basic plot of Frankenstein (a la Hollywood), so it’s not that difficult to just go on and do Bride of Frankenstein. Kenneth Branagh sort of attempted this remake when he did his Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and included a weird, sewn-together Helena Bonham-Carter as part of the plot. But I really just want to see Dr. Praetorius on screen again. The Exorcist The Exorcist is a seminal work of horror, widely considered one of the greatest horror films ever made. So, how has Hollywood failed to remake this one? Rumors have swirled about committing an atrocity against cinema and trying to redo William Friedkin’s brilliantly humorless horror movie about demon possession and strained Catholicism, but as yet no one has truly dedicated themselves to the attempt. They’ve already remade The Omen and Psycho almost shot-for-shot, so The Exorcist remake would hardly be surprising. A little girl possessed by Satan (or perhaps one of his lesser demons), a young priest experiencing a crisis of faith, and an old one who makes Catholicism look totally badass? Seriously, Hollywood, you need to get onto this one again. The Old Dark House A lesser known film than director James Whale’s other tales of terror (he’s the guy who did Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein), The Old Dark House takes weirdness and brings it back where it belongs: into the home. A common narrative involving a group of people who get trapped in an old, dark house one stormy night, the film highlights the very odd family they hole up with, and the psychoses of each person. When murder occurs, things get even stranger. Although Joss Whedon took a bite out of horror movie tropes with Cabin in the Woods, “old dark house” movies were clichéd even when Whale was making films. Remaking The Old Dark House is actually a somewhat viable move. I’m personally a sucker for these kinds of narratives, and in the hands of a good director the “group of strangers on a dark and stormy night” story could still pack some horrifying punch. Jaws Like Poltergeist, a remake of the original Jaws seems anathema, but Hollywood has already decided that any iconic film deserves the remake treatment – and Jaws is a pretty original disaster movie. With a serial-killing shark, a beach full of screaming swimmers, and the opportunity to repeat lines like “we’re gonna need a bigger boat,” I am surprised that Hollywood has continued to leave this one alone. Will we get anything out of a Jaws remake, except perhaps the opportunity to see the original re-released as part of a lead up to it? Nope, not at all. But remakes are not about making good movies, or revamping ones that might have been successful. They’re about making an easy buck and, let’s face it, remaking Jaws would drag people in the theaters whether they wanted to be there or not.