Cinemark To Reward Its Customers For Being Normal

So now we apparently live in a world in which you are rewarded for doing things you should automatically be doing anyway. Case in point: Theatre chain Cinemark (bless them for trying to re-humanise humanity) have offered to give customers coupons for popcorn and treats if they can last an entire film without reaching into their pockets and lighting up the theatre with their mobile phones like the inconsiderate douches they are. If you're somebody reacting to this news with a comment like: "Well, yeah, I suppose I could last 2 hours without checking my phone," then you should no longer be allowed to socialise with other people who go outside.

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So now we apparently live in a world in which you are rewarded for doing things you should automatically be doing anyway. Case in point: Theatre chain Cinemark (bless them for trying to re-humanise humanity) have offered to give customers coupons for popcorn and treats if they can last an entire film without reaching into their pockets and lighting up the theatre with their mobile phones like the inconsiderate douches they are. If you’re somebody reacting to this news with a comment like: “Well, yeah, I suppose I could last 2 hours without checking my phone,” then you should no longer be allowed to socialise with other people who go outside.

Yes, Cinemark will entice you to download their new app which presumably knows when you touch your phone during a screening and will deny you access to any coupon-giving ceremonies that happen to take place after the film ends. How about they install a feature that puts you to sleep and dumps you in an alley if you happen to tap a single key on your precious device? Then you’ll feel the real world at your fingertips. It’s not a nice place out there in the alley.

Source: The A.V Club


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