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The Maximum Ride Movie Exists (?!) And Has An Awful New Trailer

If any of you knew that there was a Maximum Ride movie floating around out there and didn't tell me, I'll have you know I'm mad about it. Not like I've been following this series for years. And I'm especially mad, given how hilariously awful the first trailer for said movie looks.

If any of you knew that there was a Maximum Ride movie floating around out there and didn’t tell me, I’ll have you know I’m mad about it. Not like I’ve been following this series for years. And I’m especially mad, given how hilariously awful the first trailer for said movie looks.

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I’m still having a hard time believing a Maximum Ride film, directed by someone named Jay Martin, actually exists, given that this property has been in development hell for over a decade, with people like Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke trying to make it happen along the way. There were once plans to do it as a web series, but that idea obviously changed course somewhere in the midst of development (perhaps as Paramount watched shows like Community and Sin City Saints send Yahoo Screen down the tubes).

Based on this trailer, Paramount kept kicking the can down the road until its metaphorical leg cramped up and it just decided to set Martin, along with a hugely unknown cast, to make the thing and get it out in the world. And Jenna Marbles got involved, because of course Jenna Marbles got involved.

It seems as if, a far cry from the tentpole Maximum Ride was once envisioned as, the studio threw out a shoestring budget and some of the worst CGI wings this side of a Syfy original movie in order to help Martin create, well, something out of James Patterson’s bestselling series.

Most Maximum Ride fans will probably be none too happy to see the franchise, about a group of orphan kids cross-bred with avian DNA going on the run from their shady governmental overseers, turned into such a clear B-movie. As one of them, I’ll probably have to check this out nonetheless.

Allie Marie Evans, Patrick Johnson, Lyliana Wray, Luke Gregory Crosby, Gavin Lewis, Tetona Jackson, Zayne Emory, Peter O’Brien and Carrie Wampler (none of whom sound even remotely familiar, always a good sign) star in the pic. It hits Digital HD on August 30 (ouch) before going to theaters and on demand on September 30.

In the meantime, let’s all say a prayer for Maximum Ride. It deserved better than this poster.

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