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Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Mainstream Horror Nightmares – And Not The Good Kind

After struggling through I, Frankenstein not too long ago, this week's article topic was an easy one for me to come up with - mainstream horror moments that make Nato and Remy very sad pandas. Seriously - did any of you see I, Frankenstein? Sure, there were some decently entertaining fight sequences between gargoyles, demons, and a studly Frankenstein, but at the expense of character development, storyboarding, and proper atmosphere design that couldn't even establish a hustling and bustling city. What kind of city has zero residents besides living gargoyles and shapeshifting demons?

Nato – Silent Hill: Revelations

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As far as video game adaptations go, the original Silent Hill isn’t all that bad – mainly because the subgenre isn’t exactly full of Oscar winners. Still, memories of the Silent Hill universe terrifying viewers provided some hope for future video game movies, especially in a potential franchise ripe for gross, creative, gnarly imagery and creature work – then Silent Hill: Revelations happened. Jon Snow may know nothing, but Kit Harington’s character Vincent knew even less given his scenario, even with Adelaide Clemens acting opposite the future Pompeii star.

Silent Hill: Revelations makes every mistake in the mainstream horror “DO NOT DO” book. The easy comment to make here is Silent Hill 3 outshines its cinematic equivalent in almost every sense, and that’s from a game created in 2003, but I’ll be nice and explain why – because we don’t throw around insults here without being able to back them up.

Let’s start with Kit Harington, forced to play an original game character named Vincent – stripped of all personality, sass, and vibrancy. Why take a fun character from the game and turn him into a forgettable love interest (not even) who can barely keep you awake? Of course, Revelations outshines Vincent’s incompetence by crafting a story pushed forward simply using the word “because.” Why does Heather go to Silent Hill? Because. Why hang with Vincent? Because. Why are we watching this garbage? Not even a “because” suffices as an excuse.

Mix all that nothingness with an ending that can’t even make a flaming merry-go-round seem like horror fun, and the weakest “Boss Battle” in history, and you’ve got one of the absolute WORST video game movies in subgenre history. Ugh, my heart sinks just thinking about all the nightmare-haunting creatures residing in Silent Hill – and how I never want to see them on screen again.