Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Are They Dead Yet?

Ok, not to get all morbid again right after Remy and I recently talked about apocalypse music, movie character zombie posses, and smoldering horror babes, but the two of us are jumping back on the negativity train once again. This week, we'll be attacking those NOT so lovable characters that populate our horror films, undoubtably pissing us off to the nth degree.Be it someone who is a flat-out unenjoyable dick, or whiney pain, or just a poorly written personality not worth a single minute of screen time, these are the characters who we wish the most gratuitous death scene possible upon - and fast.

Nato: Jeep Hanson from Legion

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Well, OK, in all honestly, every character was so insanely boring and poorly written in Legion, a death scene was all that could have saved their cardboard existence, but none were as bad as the man named after a car. Yes, Lucas Black played a character named Jeep, complete with a terrible country-bumkpin accent and mind-numbing dialogue. Then, we’re forced to listen to Jeep cry on and on about how much of a pussy he is and how he’ll never be able to man up, during, you know, the apocalypse? I was seriously waiting for any one of the other equally wasteful fleshbags to use Jeep as a human shield, but to my dismay, sat their being tortured by his non-stop mumblings and wimpy attitude. Actually, I take that back, I was more wishing the evil angels waiting patiently outside the diner would ascend on the small pack of emotionless numbskulls, ending the film with at least SOME entertainment, but Jeep’s exit would have been most enjoyable and rewarding.

Remy: Micah from Paranormal Activity

Alright, alright, I have talked enough shit about this dude by now. Fair enough. But, I mean, really? Calling out a paranormal demon with the words of a drunken fratboy and toying with dark arts? Do you EVER watch horror movies? Micah, you deserved your fate.


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Author
Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.