Nato: Silent Night – Woodchipper
Whenever I think woodchipper, I think of three distinctive moments in Hollywood – Fargo, Tucker And Dale Vs Evil, and most recently Silent Night. Being such a bloodthirsty mechanical beast, I’m surprised more horror directors don’t feed their victims head first into this dangerous tool, but thankfully director Steven C. Miller had the vision to use Mr. Chippy for a gore-tastic Christmas themed death. I mean sure, why in the hell would a naked young girl think running into a tree farm would save her from a murderous Santa in the first place – but I’m extremely glad she did. I’ll actually include the whole kill scene on this list now that I think of it, because Miller’s killer Santa starts the carnage by lopping a part of poor Maria’s leg off, rendering her defenseless against a not-so-jolly Saint Nick. From here, Santa slings Maria over his shoulder, starts walking to the woodchipper, and turns the aspiring “model” into a bright red mist.
As a really cool little exclusive, Steven C. Miller shot a tweet my way after he read my review and received my woodchipper compliment, and actress Cortney Palm (Maria) was kind enough to answer one of my questions personally! I mean, how cool/nice is that?
@DoNatoBomb @stevencmiller well, my mom cried bc she thought it was too real!
— cortney palm (@cortneypalm5) December 1, 2012
Remy: Prometheus – First Four Minutes
I know this one if going to get me some shit, and I am fine with that. Yes, Prometheus had a great deal of holes in the plot, but in the same breath, its visuals, and the scale of the story itself, were mind boggling.
While the overall arc of the story may have been disappointing, I can’t lie and tell you that the opening shot of that film did not truly floor me, because it did. The shots of the Engineers crafting a planet (Maybe Earth, we do not know) is one of the best opening scenes I have ever seen in a movie, honestly. Truth be told, there was no way that the rest of the movie could have lived up to that one scene, so it makes sense that it didn’t.
In the scene I speak of, we see an Engineer get left on a barren planet, and he takes the “black goo” and falls into the water and dissipates, ultimately planting the seed of life onto this planet through his sacrifice. It is done with no dialogue, and the shots are breathtaking. Like I said, there was no way the next eighty minutes of the film could have even touched on that opening perfection, and though the movie was not horror in a horror sense, it is still on this list because it has a right to be. Stop hating on Prometheus unless you can write a better movie.
