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Ranking The Best Picture Nominees For The Oscars

So one of the nice side benefits of perpetual unemployment, other than learning to translate which Craigslist job ads are for porn (read: ALL OF THEM), is that you've got plenty of time to catch up on movies. In a first, I've actually managed to see every Best Picture nominee that the year has had to offer, so I thought I'd drop my two cents on how they all measure up. Even with snubs to both The Master, and my own personal favorite movie of the year, this is a strong selection of films, and everything on this list is absolutely worth checking out. So enjoy, and remember: I'm not an authority on these matters, I'm the ONLY* authority on these matters!!!

1: Zero Dark Thirty

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If you can see past the controversy that has seemingly swallowed it whole, Kathryn Bigelow’s latest film is a near flawlessly executed historical-thriller, a razor wire of a revenge story strung out over the ten year pursuit of Osama Bin Laden. But it’s those inlayed barbs –the thorny choices of subject matter, and their depiction- that set it apart. Is it a bitter expose of what we sacrificed in the name of justice, or a torture apologia? Is it Bigelow’s job to choose, or ours? There are even arguments to be made that the film’s ambiguity is, itself, a way of picking sides, which sounds completely crazy at first glance, but actually warrants serious consideration.

Beyond marking a shared moment of reflection, and being start-to-finish fantastic in its own right, Zero Dark Thirty is the deserving winner because it’s got people talking, about what we expect from our filmmakers, and our governments.

Which film do you think is going to win best picture? How would you rank the nominees? Let us know in the comments below.