Please Don’t Scream, You’re So Beautiful: The 14 Best Horror Movies Of 2013

Wow, what a truly inspiring year. Why, you ask? Simple - 2013 was the best year for horror I've seen since starting my love for the genre back in college. Each year has its highs and lows, don't get me wrong, and even though there were some insultingly bad horror movies forced upon us this year (which I already discussed in my 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2013 article), the good mightily outweighed these forgettable blemishes. Count Dracula turning into a Praying Mantis? Last, last exorcisms? Sympathetic Leatherface? Forget all that malarky because 2013 was full of top-notch remakes, energized reboots, worthy sequels, ambitious independent winners, and horror comedies that had us laughing just as much as we were screaming. As a horror fan, this has been a year for the ages - and also a year that gave me a pretty empty wallet.

5) This Is The End

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I have to admit, I struggled with classifying This Is The End as a horror film, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how evil and violent Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg made their one-of-a-kind horror comedy. My biggest inner argument revolved around how heavy handed This Is The End is on the comedy, but comparing it to other films on the list, there’s just as much comedy here as there is in Bad Milo!, and plenty of death to go around. Just because a film is gust-busting, wet-your-pants hilarious doesn’t mean it can’t be a horror film too, and you know what, compared to some other horror films I’ve seen this year, This Is The End blows them out of the water.

I own This Is The End on Blu-Ray, I’ve watched it numerous times, and each viewing only gets better. God bless this talented comedy troupe for having the balls to deliver such gold by playing exaggerated versions of themselves, poking fun at one another’s real life personas. I can’t even name all the dynamite actors involved in this project because each one is as funny as the next, and the cameos they secure only add to the apocalyptic brilliance. Michael Cera is just one of many stars who exploits themselves on-screen for a memorable joke, and although other stars are just as funny, none of them have as quotable a line as “It’s sippy time.” I’ll never be able to enjoy a Capri Sun the same way again.

Who cares if you’re laughing more than cringing – This Is The End happens to be a horror film that’s also one of the funniest movies of the year. It’d be a sin not to get a sequel here, even though the continuation would be a bit tricky – although I’ve heard the boys have some pretty genius ideas. Time to get cracking!


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Author
Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.