9) Gallowwalkers
Hey, remember that time Wesley Snipes vanished from Hollywood for a little while, doing jail time for a wee bit of tax fraud he committed? Remember the movie he was permitted to finished before being hauled away to the hoosegow? Probably not, and honestly, I don’t blame you, because Gallowwalkers was that movie he was allowed to finish, and even though all this happened back in 2006, this zombie Western isn’t seeing the light of day until 2013. Hey, but films like Cabin In The Woods were shelved unjustly as well, aren’t you being a little hard on Gallowwalkers? No, no I’m not. Films like Cabin In The Woods were shelved because of studio rights bullshit and bankruptcy – Gallowwalkers was shelved because no one had any idea what to do with it.
Gallowwalkers is about Wesley Snipes’ character Aman, a bounty hunter of sorts who must kill the undead forms of gangsters he already put in the grave. It’s a mix between horror and action, heavily playing off the gun-slinging period Aman lives in. Sounds like it could be fun, right? Wrong. The whole ordeal seems silly and cartoonish, as we watch Aman strut around and pull off long-distance shots from rocky mountain tops with a simple six-shooter, having simple comedic fun with his sidekick Fabulous – yes, that’s his stereotypical partner’s name. I’m a tad bit bummed because there’s definitely room for B-Movie antics, but it all comes off as absolutely snooze worthy, no matter how badass Wesley Snipes still is.
I honestly wish Gallowwalkers was never shelved, because I could have gotten this negative review out of my system years ago. Oh well, here’s one more film to populate my bottom thirteen horror picks, it was bound to happen sometime.
