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5 Things That Would Make This Sunday’s Academy Awards Not Completely Terrible

For those of us who harbor extreme ambivalence toward the Academy Awards and all they stand for, the Oscar ceremony this coming Sunday is likely to be a pendulum swinging between severe annoyance and cautious excitement. The whole concept of the awards is both noble and preposterous, best epitomized by the people who blast the notion of ranking works of art until they win an award and are suddenly humbled and gracious in their acceptance of the statue they once considered meaningless. Many, including myself on most days, decry the Academy Awards as a vapid evening of excess and self congratulation, perpetuating the myth that Hollywood is doing good in the world, validating stars’ fragile egos, and dear god I hope my favorite movie/director/actor wins!

[h2]5) Seth MacFarlane is actually funny as the host, you know even as I write it I know it’s probably not even possible[/h2]

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I still don’t know how Tina Fey and Amy Poehler pulled off their incredible hosting gig at the Golden Globes last month so amazingly. Obviously they’re two of the funniest people in the world, but awards shows are traditionally a place where funny people go to take a break from being so funny all the time. Jon Stewart, Chris Rock, David Letterman, Ellen DeGeneres are all examples of people who are really funny in their normal, carefully crafted environments, but were total duds at the Academy Awards.

So hoping for another Fey/Poehler-caliber performance is out of the question I think. But you know, maybe just don’t suck. It’s possible. Family Guy is really funny. I’ve always enjoyed MacFarlane on those Comedy Central roasts. I’m thinking the best case scenario is that he works along the lines of Ricky Gervais at the Globes—brash, irreverent, giving zero f—s. That would make for an enjoyable show. Alternatively, he could make obvious jokes about how overlooked Ted was and do a bunch of sketches with the bear from Ted and then lament that Ted lost to Adele and Skyfall and just blow the thing. In which case, dear god I hope De Niro wins.