Testosterone Overload: Top Ten Films To Pump You Up

 Testosterone Overload: Top Ten Films To Pump You Up

Testosterone courses through every male and female body and is responsible for increased levels of intensity and machismo. Some films out there are no different, reflecting the director’s capability to establish such atmospheric emotions.

Successful movies display steroid enhanced levels of the infectious feeling, reactively raising audience levels as well, while other failed attempts barely muster a timid whimper. Be it casting, writing, or visual delivery, nothing gets the blood flowing like a good old fashion testosterone blow out film.

The Expendables knew a thing or two about testosterone influenced action, boasting one of the most star-studded action casts ever assembled. Teaming up the likes of Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren and Terry Crewes was an ensemble treat, but why stop there? Additions of ”Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzeneggar completed Stallone’s beefcake driven action movie.

Fans wondered how it could possibly get better – and then it did.

Jean-Claude Van Damme. Chuck Norris. Liam Hemsworth.

Those names can all be seen joining Stallone’s posse as he gears up the “Expendables” for another deadly mission on August 17th.

So are you guys ready to celebrate the release of Sylvester Stallone’s action extravaganza The Expendables 2? In honor of the film, let’s all grab some beef jerky, crack open a cold one, and assume the pump up position – it’s time to count down the top ten most testosterone ridden movies of all time.

10. The Warriors

 Testosterone Overload: Top Ten Films To Pump You Up

“CAN YOU DIG ITTTTTT?!”  - Cyrus

Nothing like a little gang warfare and brotherhood to get the juices flowing right?

Walter Hill’s 1979 brawler classic takes place in a time where street gangs rule New York City, making violence a part of everyday life. All that each gang has is trust and honor and nothing gets the testosterone levels amped like good old fashion bro love.

The Warriors itself expands further upon simple turf warfare scuffles, as our main characters must fight against every other rival gang on their journey back to Coney Island, fleeing from false persecution.

Could you imagine having to wrestle through countless hordes of colorful gang members with your closest friends, thrown into the heat of battle with no one but your “brothers” to count on? Psh - hell yeah we can, which makes The Warriors a fantastical scenario that is worth hours of drunken bar room discussion amongst buds.

Playing more like a Streets of Rage button masher, The Warriors comradery and bad boy lifestyle cements it as one of the great macho movies of all time.

9. Green Street Hooligans

 Testosterone Overload: Top Ten Films To Pump You Up

“You know the best part? It isn’t knowing that your friends have your back. It’s knowing that you have your friends’ back.” – Pete Dunham

Keeping with The Warrior‘s theme, Green Street Hooligans mixes similar gang foolery with loyal sports fan extremism. Hello uber testosterone boost!

Overseas, soccer – or REAL football for you Europeans – exists as more than just an entertaining past time. Over there, soccer is a way of life, incomparable to any sports culture in the US. Just as in war, soldiers (fans) pick factions (teams) and offer their undying support, so far as to defend their beloved generals (players) honor through violent gang warfare.

The brotherhood and gangland fist fighting is one thing, but Green Street Hooligans cranks testosterone levels up to 11 by adding in the competitive nature of sports. In America, you’ll typically only find short drunken brawls after some fan hears a rival call Sidney Crosby a pretty boy pansy who can’t take a big boy hit, or something of that nature. In England, such a comment would literally start a war on a riot police level between supporters.

After my first viewing of Green Street Hooligans, I was ready to jump on a plane and devote my life to being a soccer hooligan, jealous of the hard knuckled lifestyle. Drinking, fighting, competition, passion? Such a simple yet completely heart pounding lifestyle. Sure, director Lexi Alexander may have livened up the action for entertainment purposes, but I ate up every single minute of it.

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  • Alex Lowe

    Great choices! A few I would put in there are any of the Lethal Weapon movies, Top Gun, or The Boondock Saints

  • Mr Sammy Buca

    ok, so great list, but I cannot agree with Green Street Hooligans – that film is not about being a UK soccer fan, it is a pretty ridiculous movie to be honest. Sorry to be harsh, but Frodo Baggins would not have lasted 20 seconds in a London football stadium with the people that he was supposed to be hanging around with. Please replace with the Football Factory starring Danny Dyer, that is a film about hooligans and an excellent one.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Donato/556930521 Matt Donato

      Won’t lie, huge Danny Dyer fan. Severance, Malice in Wonderland, Devil’s Playground, Doghouse, Mean Machine…he rules even if all those films don’t…and Football Factory is mixed on my Netflix list as we speak. Apologies from this uneducated American, but that is why I added this little disclaimer at the end stating I’m sure Green Street Hooligans was all Hollywood-ed up. Still did the job for me though haha

  • Greegor

    Braveheart. Nothing like taking a Medieval sledgehammer or a piece of stag’s horn to the gang who molested your beloved… and then taking the grudge to a much larger scale. Nice.

  • Shiloh Kleinschmit

    I loved Bronson!! That movie was just hilarious.He didnt “grease” himself up,(where would he get the grease),..he rubbed feces all over himself,and forced the guards to wrestle with him.Lol!! Also,I’d read that it is pretty close to the actual life on Charlie,as he was consulted during the filming,quite a bit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Donato/556930521 Matt Donato

      I try to avoid totally specific details when writing these little summaries as not to spoil all surprises, so I thought greased himself up was a better phrasing in that case haha I love Bronson just as much, really a killer story

  • oscar

    5 and 6 shud be 1/2

  • Jason R. Weaver

    You missed two Boondock Saints, and where the hell is Fight Club?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Donato/556930521 Matt Donato

      Ahhh, don’t think it was easy! Trust me, there were SO many films I wanted to stick in there, and I completely agree with you. you just named my 11/12