8) Spider-Man 3
First of all, I love me some Sam Raimi. I mean no insult to the man, and his affection for Spider-Man’s world was clearly seen in the first two films. But something happens when movies, books, and games reach their third (and often, final, chapter): everything falls apart.
You could tell Raimi wanted to please absolutely everyone, and we got a watered down, shitty movie as a result. The biggest problem was that he wanted to please fanboys more than anyone. So he teased us Venom, and then inexplicably cast Topher “I have no place in this fucking movie” Grace as Peter Brock, a.k.a Venom. But then in some weird kick to the dick move, he put Venom in about six minutes of the movie. We thought we were getting black suit, tortured Spider-Man, and what we got was one of the worst fucking scenes in any movie, ever.
I am, of course, referring to the “Peter Parker strutting down the street like a moron” and then “Peter Parker dancing to fucking jazz for some reason” scene. Oh, and how did Tobey Maguire play “dark”? With fucking emo bangs. EMO BANGS!
We also got some LAME tie-in to an origin story with Sandman being Uncle Ben’s killer, and having some sad and tragic subplot of his own. See, even reading this is giving me a fucking headache. That is how utterly awful it was. It was just a shameful end to an otherwise kind of awesome series of comic book movies.
Now, I know many of you may want to know why The Amazing Spider-Man 2, which everyone hated, isn’t on this list. I have one reason. It isn’t on the list because (SPOILER) they had the balls to actually pull off the killing of Gwen Stacy almost exactly like the comics did (END SPOILER). That was a brave move in an otherwise meh film. But you know what that movie did in that scene that none of the movies did on this list?
Stayed true to the source material.
Bam.
