The Annoying Intros
“My name is Barry Allen, and I’m the fastest man alive.” No sh*t, Sherlock. The chances are if we’re tuned in, it’s because we actually want to watch the damn show and know what it’s about already. While this narrated intro was a nice, stylized touch for the first season, it’s become overkill by now and annoys more than it entertains.
The problem with this monologue is that it only adds fuel to the fire that the Arrowverse is extremely formulaic. At the end of every season, the showrunners promise that the following one will be entirely different and fresh, but it ends up being more of the same and disappointing us beyond measure. Considering a show’s intro is our first touch point to the series, you’d think this is the most obvious thing to change.
We’re not against recaps of the previous episodes or seasons, but these generic intros need to grow some legs and go play in traffic now. Honestly, ask yourself: how many times have you sighed even before the show starts just because of Barry or Oliver’s voice?
The Tiresome Love Stories
Holy mother of dragons, but the Arrowverse has more love drama than Gossip Girl and Riverdale combined. Sure, we know it’s The CW and the network adores its soapie-inspired storylines, but can someone please remind the writers that this is supposed to be about superheroes, first and foremost?
It’s like everybody in the universe has to have a significant other or pine over someone who’s unattainable. Is this even real life? Because there’s not one single character that turns around and says, “Nah, it’s cool, fam. I don’t need no S.O. drama, so I’ll just chill on my couch and play PlayStation.” Instead, they’re constantly trying to hook up with each other and cry about it when it ends badly. Like a bunch of horny teenagers.
Rather than seeing Oliver square off with Slade Wilson, for example, we’re subjected to seeing him mope around and waste time with Felicity Smoak as they try to rekindle their on-off relationship. Yes, romance is important, but for the love of Jack Kirby, please tone it down a notch for all of us.
