Jersey Shore Season 3-03 ‘Where’s The Beach?’ Recap


Jersey Shore Season 3-03 'Where's The Beach?' Recap

As I prayed for no more Sam/Ron drama, I sat down to watch episode 3 of Jersey Shore. My hopes were crushed quite quickly though as the episode opened up with Ron and Sam fighting. Sam realizes it’s not about Ron anymore and says she wants to fix her friendship with the girls. They argue for a bit more and we get the same thing we’ve seen time and time before.

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang are just hanging out and Snooki attempts to eat a full potato, uncooked, just straight up out of the fridge. Very drunk, she also tries to hook up with Vin. She’s begging him and it’s just straight up pathetic to watch. Deena is also on the hunt as she tries to persuade Mike to have a threesome with her and Snooki. Surprisingly, he agrees.

Sitch tells us ‘every guy has a dream of having a threesome with two women, obviously.’ But then, Snook leaves and it’s just Deena. Sitch explains it to us as he says ‘that’s like someone putting chicken and salt and pepper on the table, and then somebody takes away the chicken and they left you with just salt and pepper.’ Thoughtful analogy there Sitch.

Nicole sneaks into Vin’s room and he gives in, at first, but eventually he puts an end to it. In the other room, Sitch says he was looking for that threesome and it turned into the deesome. Deena is being quite annoying, as she won’t stop talking in bed. Mike tells us, sometimes the only way to shut up a girl is, well you know. He then pulls a clever ‘kitchen ditchen’, which he says he invented. Eventually, he escapes his situation.

Next day, Pauly and Snook head for a GTL session. Sam wakes up and doesn’t feel too good. Ron tries to talk to her and she tells him to tell her the truth. She says to tell her everything. Sitch tells us they should just ‘break the fuck up.’ Couldn’t agree more. Ron says he needs a mind condom because he’s being mind fucked. He start flipping out on Sam and the others overhear their argument. They agree it’s Sam’s fault. Ron continues to yell at Sam and as he walks downstairs he tells the gang that it’s just the same bullshit, different day.

Ron heads off for a gym session with Sitch while Pauly, Sam and Snooki go to work. Sam decides it’s time to apologize and so she says sorry to Snook and they make up and become friends again. Meanwhile JWOWW is talking to Tom and it’s clearly not going well. When Sam gets home, she apologizes to Deena also. Next on the list is JWOWW. Snooki says it will never work out between the two though. Snooki talks to JWOWW about Sam and as expected, JWOWW still wants nothing to do with her.

That night, the gang gets ready to go out. They head to their usual stomping ground, Karma. JWOWW walks in and sees her ex and they start talking. Deena hits the dance floor and starts dancing but keeps falling over due to her drunkenness. She can’t even stand up by herself. Security comes over and kicks her out, 7 minutes into the night. Everyone else seems to be having fun though. Mike sees one of his friends, Paula, and starts hitting on her. He tells us ‘we just got chemistry, and we’re not talking about the class.’

Jersey Shore Season 3-03 'Where's The Beach?' Recap

Snooki, equally as drunk as Deena, gets a bit belligerent and is a total mess. Meanwhile, JWOWW is still talking to her ex and tells him that she wants to spend time with him. Her ex has a girlfriend though. JWOWW finds out and gets mad at him, that’s the end of that. Apparently she doesn’t like liars.

JWOWW goes to find Snook and the two manage to find a closed off area where their drunkeness takes over. Meanwhile, Sitch and Pauly are doing it up on the dance floor. When JWOWW decides she has to go to the washroom, instead of going to the bathroom, she simply goes right in the bar. Then we cut to Ron and Sam, who are sitting at a table having a nice chat. It seems civil so far.

Pauly spots his psycho stalker, Danielle, from season 1. He starts to freak out and looks seriously worried. She spots him and throws a drink in his face, enraging the guys and leaving Pauly bewildered. That’s when they decide to call it a night and Pauly and Vin come home with girls. Vin says his girl is sending all the right signals and his DTF o-meter is at a 10. They get down to business just as Sitch returns home with Paula. He says she’s off the charts on the DTF meter.

Pauly isn’t doing to well though, his girl isn’t DTF, so he goes to sleep and his girl leaves. Meanwhile, Ron is trying to make some turkey burgers with the help of Sitch. It looks like a complete and utter mess. Vin and his chick finish up and as she leaves, he comes out and joins the boys in making their turkey burgers. Eventually Sitch and Paula leave and go upstairs and Vin and Ron feast outside, at 4:30 in the morning. They have some bonding time and Vin is pretty happy to have some alone time to chill with him.

Next morning, Ron, Vin and Snook go to work. Snooki is madly hungover and really pissed to be at work. She ends up drinking at work and gets really drunk. Danny tells her to go get coffee but instead she goes to drink more. Danny catches her and gets angry, sending her back to the shop.

JWOWW and Deena go to get a coffee and on Snooki’s break from work, she once again goes to drink. While out, she runs into Deena and JWOWW. Snooki is completely smashed and she keeps drinking. She stumbles around the boardwalk, falling over, unable to control herself, just out of control. She runs off and Deena and JWOWW try to follow. Snooki heads to the beach and just shows off how stupid she really is. I think this is the worst we’ve ever seen Snooki.

Jersey Shore Season 3-03 'Where's The Beach?' Recap

Deena and JWOWW try to control her but she’s simply too wasted. Eventually she attracts a crowd and the police come over. They try to escort her off the beach but Snooki starts talking back to the cops and swearing at them. That’s the last straw and Snook is placed under arrest, like she deserves. JWOWW and Deena head back to the house and Snook is taken to the station. JWOWW calls Snooki’s dad to inform him and the episode ends.

A pretty weak episode, didn’t enjoy this one all that much. Ron and Sam are still annoying, Snooki is even more annoying and I don’t know what the creators were hoping to accomplish by bringing Deena onto the show, I can’t stand her. Everyone seems to be getting real annoying. This was one of the weaker episodes that we’ve seen in a while and definitely wasn’t memorable. I’m guessing next episode will deal primarily with Snooki and getting her out of jail, which could be interesting. Let’s hope it is.

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