It seems like it’s been half past forever since we last saw the Jersey Shore gang. After going through withdrawal for the past week or so, it’s great to finally watch the roommates again.
The episode begins with Mike explaining how walls are very hard and you should never, EVER ram your head into them to make a point. And of course, Ronnie runs into Sam’s room to apologize for the last night, meaning that we’ll never see the end of this relationship. While Mike wallows in his own puddle of pity, Pauly D and Vinny take time to make fun of him, and it’s absolutely hilarious.
But then, Mike calls his sister Melissa and talks about coming home. Would he ever actually leave though? As the girls head out to lunch, they also discuss how much they hate Mike. Back at the house, Ron talks to Mike about how much it sucks to be alone, and Mike actually breaks down and has an actual show of emotions with Ron. It’s actually kind of amazing to see them have a heart to heart. After all of this, Ronnie convinces Mike to stay, which is surprisingly exactly what I was hoping for.
Back in the streets of Italy, a priest tells Snooki to cover up by his church, a random but awesome moment. Snooki calls her boyfriend, Jionni, and tells him she loves him in her own words (which are…uhmm…interesting), prompting him to call her stupid. Since Ron is the acting therapist for this episode, he’s the one who Snooki confides in about her reservations with Jionni. Ronnie is winning in brownie points for the episode so far. Deena gives Pauly D a new hairdo, and him and Vinny decide to dress up like “guido toolbags” so they can make fun of…well…themselves.
And now it’s time for Ron and Sam to sit and talk like adults, which means they argue and argue and argue. Even Vinny, Pauly and Deena are sick of it, which is a good sign that maybe they should just break up. Thinking this, Ron gives Sam the ultimatum he’s given her before, and everybody hopes this time she’ll really walk away.
Now that Ron is busy, Vinny steps in and asks them to stop fighting around everyone, which they actually respect and decide to honor. It’s really odd to see everybody acting like normal people this episode. Oh, and Ron and Sam are back together after that huge fight (sigh).
Ron and JWOWW discuss Jionni and Snooki’s relationship, which is looking pretty bleak. And speaking of bleak relationships, Mike makes a terrible attempt at apologizing to Snooki about telling the house that they slept together. Of course, Snooki denies it because Mike can’t physically say the words “I’m sorry.”
To ease the tension, the group makes a club run, but even this can’t be peaceful. While there, Deena and Snooki get in a fight with a girl who throws a drink at them. When they get back to the house, Snooki calls Jionni, which goes about as well as it should. He accuses her of cheating for no reason, so Ron tries to step in and make things better by telling Jionni that Snooki loves him. But of course, Jionni continues to yell at Snooki, which is starting to annoy the roommates as well.
Meanwhile, Deena invites her friend Elis over, even though she’s drunk off her rocks right now. After they start talking, Deena finds a hickey on Elis, which he insists is from his sister. Definitely not helping your case, kid. So goodbye Elis. JWOWW calls her boyfriend Roger and talks to him about the whole Snooki/Jionni debacle, and he gives the advice that they should break up. The whole house agrees, and they decide to have an intervention for Snooki.
However, the intervention fails. Badly. Snooki defends Jionni, and it looks like she’s going to decide to stay with him. Despite this bummer ending, next week’s episode looks truly awesome. The roommates are all heading to the beach, there’s some “lesbionic” making out, and Snooki and Deena ram an Italian cop car. Who else is excited?
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