One of television’s funniest shows made its return tonight. The much awaited fifteenth season of South Park premiered and this time Matt and Trey took on Mr. Steve Jobs and the Apple iPad. It was a timely and brilliant episode. A ton of topics were tackled and they were all handled in a way that we’ve come to expect from Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
As the episode begins, Cartman is running around the playground showing off his new iPad. There’s only one problem, it’s fake. His mom won’t buy him a real one. After the other kids discover this, he runs home and yells at his mom for making him look like a liar in front of his friends. He screams “would you mind loaning me some of your lipstick mom? Because I want to at least look pretty the next time you decide to fuck me.”
This turns into an episode long gag that is absolutely hilarious. When Cartman and his mom go to Best Buy to get an iPad, his mom tells him it’s too expensive. She suggests getting another tablet but Cartman says that “everyone knows that anything but Apple is stupid.” She suggests the Toshiba Handybook and Cartman tells her “if I take that thing to school everyone will think I’m a poverty stricken asshole.” When she stands firm on her word he tells her to go buy some condoms so they can be safe if she’s going to fuck him. He then pulls down his pants and yells at her to fuck him, in the middle of the store.
The show takes it one step further and has Cartman going on the Dr. Phil show, acting as a victim of sexual abuse. Of course, Dr. Phil believes him and promises to get Cartman a very special gift. It’s one of the funnier scenes in the episode and will likely be a season highlight.
This is where the next storyline comes in. Kyle, who has a real iPad, has apparently agreed to the Terms and Conditions of the latest iTunes update without even reading them. A grave mistake indeed. An Apple team tracks him (since they can find you with their location data, a hot topic in the news lately) and they take him away to be part of an experiment. Kyle tries to seek help from his friends and father but they all tell him the same thing, he should have read the terms and conditions before agreeing. Kyle can’t believe that they actually read the whole thing and has no choice but to submit to the Apple team.
When he arrives at Apple, he realizes that Steve Jobs is working on a new project, the Human CentiPad, and Kyle is one of three participants. Once Jobs builds the Human CentiPad and reveals it to the world, the boys realize they have to save Kyle. They go right to the top. To the only people who can save him. The Geniuses.
When they arrive at the Apple Store, they give the Genius Kyle’s Apple ID (which is ’69ingchipmunks’ by the way), and they get to work. They realize the only way to save Kyle is to get his dad to switch to a Mac. By doing this, he can put Kyle on a family plan and make it so Kyle can’t accept anything without his dad. This would void the Terms and Conditions that Kyle accepted previously.
Meanwhile, Jobs is at Best Buy with Dr. Phil and Cartman. Turns out Cartman’s special gift is the Human CentiPad. He’s thrilled. He tells the crowd who have gathered at the store that “it does e-mail and web browsing and it sh*ts in Kyle’s mouth? This is the best thing that has ever been invented!”
Just as he’s getting to learn how to use his new toy, someone from Apple informs Jobs that Kyle’s agreement isn’t valid anymore and the product has to be disassembled. Cartman is furious. He just got his new toy and now it is being taken away from him, once again leaving him without an iPad. This time he curses G-d, telling G-d that to next time at least use some lube when he fucks him. G-d replies with lighting and the episode ends.
Brilliant season premiere. Very timely and full of laughs. The whole Apple/iPad thing was handled very well and will resonate with most people. There were a ton of great jabs at the product and the company as well as some clever jokes aimed at the tablet market in general. It was also a great Cartman episode, a ton of awesome lines from him and the whole subplot with him being fucked was hilarious. I thought the Human Centipede thing was dumb but maybe that’s just because I thought the film was dumb also. Aside from that though, it was a great episode. I can’t wait to see what Matt and Trey have in store for us next week.