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True Blood Season 4-06, ‘I Wish I Was The Moon’ Recap

It’s that time of the month again in Bon Temps: the full moon! What does this mean for us faithful, obsessive True Blood fans? It means that the werewolves are changing. Jason (Ryan Kwanten) might be transforming into a werepanther, or as he put it, “like a werewolf, only a big-ass cat,” and the woods are far too dangerous for fairies like Sookie (Anna Paquin), our favorite damsel in distress.

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It’s that time of the month again in Bon Temps: the full moon! What does this mean for us faithful, obsessive True Blood fans? It means that the werewolves are changing. Jason (Ryan Kwanten) might be transforming into a werepanther, or as he put it, “like a werewolf, only a big-ass cat,” and the woods are far too dangerous for fairies like Sookie (Anna Paquin), our favorite damsel in distress.

So what went down on this night of fate? Read on to find out.

Let’s start with Sookie, who ended the last episode with her arms wrapped around Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), sucking face with the sworn-enemy of her ex-boyfriend/vampire master, Bill (Stephen Moyer). Boy was she in for a rude awakening. As the two made their way to the bedroom, they were intercepted by now-King Bill, who has the authority to sentence Eric to “the true death,” which is exactly what he did.

Sure enough, when it actually came time to stake the Viking, Bill fell to his charms just like viewers have, and he set him free. We still don’t forgive you, Vampire Bill. This gives Eric the perfect amount of time to head over to the woods, catch up with Miss Stackhouse, and end the episode once again with an intimate moment.

Why was Sookie in the woods? Oh yeah, she was hanging out with her brother Jason, who after being raped repeatedly by a pack of werepanthers, in their hope to transfrom him into their “ghostdaddy,” was terrified that he would turn into a werepanther at the full moon. Sookie stood by her kin, until he ran away in fear, and she collapsed into Eric Northman.

Sensing his fear after giving him blood, Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) apparently threw her Merlotte’s waitress duties out the window when she left Tara (Rutina Wesley) and her girlfriend mid-order to come to Jason’s rescue. We already know that Jessica is getting sick of Hoyt (Jim Parrack), her boyfriend, and that Jason is hotter than the singeing of silver handcuffs on Eric’s wrists. Clearly, this is the beginning of some kind of adorable, self-conscious, inter-species, romance.

We don’t know exactly what happened to Jason, because the episode didn’t reveal whether or not he truly changed. However, Sookie did run into Alcide and Debbie (Brit Morgan) in the woods, who were on their way to a werewolf transformation rendevous of some sort. They informed her that “weres” must be born that way.

In other news, Tommy (Marshall Allman) is causing all sorts of problems for Sam (Sam Trammell), who had to spend literally the entire day performing landlord duties, after Arlene’s (Carrie Preston) cursed baby burned down their home. I don’t know why Sam needed to spend hours hanging out near the wreckage, but he needed his baby bro to take over the bar for the day.

Little did he know, that in some full-moon-freak-accident turn of events, Tommy would genuinely transform into Sam, using this privilege to fire Sookie, sleep with Sam’s new girlfriend, and then kick the shapeshifter out. If Sam didn’t kill Tommy before, he certainly should now.

Lastly, possession played a major role in this episode, with Marnie (Fiona Shaw) becoming completely possessed by the spirit who cursed/blessed Eric by wiping his memory and made Pam’s (Kristen Bauer) gorgeous flesh rot off. We’ve been warned by Gran that she’s bad news, and this is obviously nothing short of catastrophic for the vamp community. And Pam, who is getting really grody.

Also, when Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) go to visit Jesus’s terrifying, magical grandfather to seek some kind of voodoo protection from vampires, the leathery, old dude sets a rattlesnack on Jesus, who is saved by Lafayette who became possessed by yet another spirit.

While this episode may have been the most plot hole-ridden of the season, with the Sam and Tommy story making little to no sense, the Arlene’s baby story remaining unexplained, and how amazingly quickly Tara’s girlfriend went from livid to loving after she found out Tara’s true identity, it was still above the average. Plus, there was lots of always-needed Sookie-on-Eric action.

What will happen next week? Will Eric and Sookie realize that they are completely naked in a forest filled with their friends? Will Jason turn into some kind of teenwolf, providing the writers with even more instances to take off Ryan Kwanten‘s shirt? Will Vampire Beel come crawling back to his darling Sookeh? Check in next week to find out!