Watch: ‘The Lord of the Rings’ stars discuss the swear words they’d put in the movies

While Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings trilogy doesn’t shy away from a gritty fight sequence, the movies go out of their way to not resort to profanity and sexual themes in honor of J.R.R. Tolkien’s prose. That being said, no one should blame Gandalf for calling Pippin “fool of a Took” every now and again.

Speaking of fool Tooks and Brandybucks, Lord of the Rings stars Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd recently discussed the use of profane language in the adaptation and how they were only allowed one swear word per movie. During the latest episode of The Friendship Onion – a YouTube podcast that chronicles the off-screen friendship of these two stars – Monaghan and Boyd shared a few alternatives for where they’d insert that swear word.

As you can see for yourself below, the choices are absolutely hilarious.

The funniest one, which actually makes the most sense in the context of the narrative, is the last one by Dominic, quoting Pippin after the Fellowship forms in the first movie: “Where the f––k are we going?” I can even picture Elrond rolling his eyes and Gandalf sighing in disbelief for good measure.

The more we see the original cast of The Lord of the Rings interact, the more we realize that their dynamic will never be equaled. That doesn’t exactly bode well for the upcoming Amazon Prime television adaptation, though regardless of that, and for the time being, we’re holding our breaths for Middle-Earth’s next debut in live-action.