Dumbest things about the ‘Star Wars’ franchise

The Star Wars franchise is one of the most successful in film history, but that doesn’t mean it’s without flaws.

Fans usually either look passed them or try to have fun with it and figure out a way as to why it would make sense. A good example f this is Han Solo telling Obi-Wan Kenobi that his ship can make the Kessel Run in “less than 12 parsecs.” Of course, a parsec is a unit of distance, not time, so this statement makes no sense. That’s when fans and writers tried to later make sense of it and claim that Solo took shortcuts that weren’t realized by others and thus it cut the distance. Despite the attempt, it’s obvious that Lucas simply mistook “parsec” to be a speed measurement like many people mistakenly do.

For this countdown, we’re going to narrow down the top 7 dumbest things about the Star Wars franchise and we won’t attempt to make excuses for them either.

7. Stormtrooper inaccuracy

It’s been told so many times: Stormtroopers are so bad at shooting that it makes little sense. They are trained by the Empire to shoot. Obi-Wan Kenobi even speaks briefly, in the original Star Wars, about the shooting precision of stormtroopers. They go on to disappoint us in every movie they’re in, and every series. They only seem to hit their target when they set for stun. Maybe they should just permanently set for stun.

6. Planets usually have just one natural terrain

The planet of Tatooine is one big desert. Coruscant is one big city. Hoth is entirely an ice planet. Endor is one big forest. Mustafar is basically all volcanoes. Kamino is a water planet where it rains constantly. Just about every planet in Star Wars has just one part of nature within it. In a way, it’s become a theme, albeit a sort of fun one, but it’s also a bit absurd.

I doubt Tatooine can really sustain life, given there would be limited oxygen with the near absence of trees. The limited number of ecosystems on each of these planets also can create real issues, as well as limited biodiversity.

That being stated, perhaps the intent is to show how amazing the Earth is, but I doubt it. It’s puzzling that Star Wars is committed to a large galaxy filled with one-dimensional planets but, alas, at least there are significant amounts of habitable planets.

5. Darth Maul returns from certain death

In The Phantom Menace, Darth Maul is cut in half and then he falls hundreds of feet below to his death (both parts of him). In the Clone Wars series, we learn he survived. There’s no way this dude survives but I must admit that his story becomes one of the best subplots of the Clone Wars series. However, the series also introduces us to Maul’s brother, Savage Oppress, which makes one wonder why they didn’t just place Savage in the role that Maul became.

The funny thing is that this actually stayed a part of the canon and was even further confirmed when Maul appeared in Rogue One. For many Star Wars fans, this is understandably one of the most difficult changes to believe. It was also approved by George Lucas who at one time stated that killing off Darth Maul in the very movie he introduced him was a big mistake. That’s something everyone can agree on.

4. Changing canon

In 2014, two years after they purchased the Star Wars franchise, Disney decided that every book, every comic, and every video game, was NOT a part of the canon (in other words, no longer a part of real Star Wars history). Of course, the only thing that is a part of the canon, before 2014, are the movies.

Imagine being a Star Wars fan during the original trilogy, reading the Marvel comics at that time as well as the many Star Wars books that give backstories, such as the Han Solo trilogy or the Lando Calrissian trilogy, then having those in charge of Star Wars saying that all that time you spent on reading about your beloved characters are sort of wasted because none of those stories are a part of Star Wars anymore. Many writers have contributed to the saga, created backstories, and continued the story of those characters. Thus, the erasing of their work from canon is basically a slap in the face.

Obviously, it’s all about money. Disney decided that instead of building off of those stories, they wanted a clean slate and wanted to create new stories in order to make more money. The problem is that Disney’s stories are generally less praised than many of the stories that they replaced. For instance, if you read the Heir to the Empire then that clearly should be what the continuing story of the original trilogy is. Instead, they ignore it and present Luke, Han, and Leia with different backstories (at least over the time period since the original trilogy) but those stories are less appealing and fail to contribute in a way that the original stories would easily have.

3. Passports? What are passports?

Imagine traveling to any country in the world without a passport. In the Star Wars galaxy, they don’t even need a passport to travel to any planet. People just fly their ships and land anywhere, though sometimes they choose a spaceport (which is nice of them).

The idea of such free travel makes no sense, however, especially in Star Wars. An ongoing theme is the Empire’s stronghold on people. Any sign of disobedience and they will slaughter you. It seems unthinkable that the galactic government would allow free travel, or that a single planet would not object. It makes it harder to find fugitives and harder to enforce certain laws while easier to spread diseases.

Take for example the planet of Alderaan, famously blown away by the Death Star. Alderaan was a planet that had no weapons. How is that possible when anyone can fly in and out whenever they choose? It’s literally impossible to maintain and even in Star Wars Rebels they randomly land their ship somewhere on Alderaan despite having weapons. The ship itself is a weapon that can blast people to bits.

We do see travel restrictions introduced in The Bad Batch when the Empire temporarily decides that everyone needs a travel ID (essentially a passport) because they are trying to find members of the Bad Batch but that’s also humorous because they don’t enforce leaving or landing via a spaceport.

2. Little commitment to continuity

Star Wars did an excellent job of maintaining its story throughout a series of movies (especially the first two trilogies). However, since then, and even in some areas during then, continuity became something of a weakness.

This is obviously because George Lucas changed some aspects of the story later, so it makes things seem off. For instance, Padme dies after she gives birth to Luke and Leia, despite Leia saying in the original trilogy that she somewhat remembers her mom but adding, “She died when I was very young.”

People try to justify this by saying she was referring to the mom who raised her but we all know this was not the intent whatsoever and, even so, that mom is seen being very involved in Leia’s life when the princess is 10 years old.

Other issues include Anakin Skywalker killing the Emperor in Return of the Jedi only to have the Emperor reappear in the non-canon Empire’s End comic and then the now canon Rise of Skywalker film. This completely goes against what George Lucas himself stated which is that the original trilogy shows Darth Vader ultimately killing the Emperor and fulfilling the prophecy that he’s the one to bring balance to the force.

Other continuity is sacrificed for the purpose of telling new stories, but excellent writers would find a way to write excellent stories while also staying true to continuity.

In the original Star Wars film, Princess Leia sends a message to Obi-Wan Kenobi saying “You served my father in the Clone Wars.” It’s obvious that Leia doesn’t really know Kenobi yet the recent Obi-Wan Kenobi series is about Obi-Wan saving a 10-year-old Princess Leia and they end up spending days together.

When he returns to Alderaan (with a lightsaber, so much for no weapons on Alderaan) she hugs him and thanks him and they have a goodbye moment in front of her parents (the ones she knows).

10 years later, she sends a message to Obi-Wan, saying, “You served my father in the Clone Wars.” She would obviously not say that. It would be more like, “Obi-Wan! It’s me, Leia!”

Let’s not forget the fact that Kenobi is indeed called Obi-Wan even though in the original Star Wars film he tells Luke that he hasn’t gone by Obi-Wan since before Luke was born. In Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke is obviously also 10 years old.

1. The ineffectiveness of stormtrooper armor

Without a doubt, stormtrooper armor is cool looking. However, it’s also completely ineffective. Almost every time a stormtrooper is shot, even once, they die. It’s comical but after a while, it’s head-scratching because it makes you wonder why Star Wars creators often let that happen. I mean, the reality should be that when a stormtrooper is shot that it doesn’t even bother him. He could even say, “Fool, I’m wearing armor that covers my whole body,” then proceeds to shoot back.

It’s easier to argue that literally, no stormtrooper should ever die while in armor, at least when he is being shot by a standard weapon. Lightsabers kill anyone and cut through armor but, considering stormtroopers usually face gunfire or ray fire, then why would stormtroopers keep wearing such armor?

Some Star Wars fans try to explain this off in yet another example of the need to justify everything in the saga. I saw one person even say it softens the blow. Well, apparently it doesn’t soften the blow enough! I also find it funny, as a Star Wars fan myself, that many others try to excuse everything in the story. Let’s face it. Many things about the Star Wars universe are just dumb, otherwise, I wouldn’t even be able to create this list.

The Empire needs to seriously look into the manufacturer they hire for this armor. Why is it so ineffective? Why would the Emperor stand for such poorly designed material when he’s likely paying a fortune for it? Why does no stormtrooper never complain like, “Why do I have to wear this armor if I’m gonna die with one shot anyway?”

The real answer is because it looks cool and Star Wars just wants things to look cool sometimes without there being a reason behind it which, despite my rambling, I’m actually cool with. It’s ironic though, being that Star Wars is filled with creatives who give a reason for everything. They even have engineers who explain the design of ships. Everything has a purpose…except, of course, for stormtrooper armor.

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