Strange things are afoot in Hatfield, Mass. The police department has put out a call for information after a 200lb concrete Shrek sculpture has gone missing from outside a suburban home. Whoever put this on display must have been a serious fan of the franchise, as this isn’t some store-bought model of the character, it’s very much a home-cooked ogre.
Check it out:
A spokesman for the Hatfield PD took to social media to plead for its return, saying:
“If you have any information of his current whereabouts please reach out to our department or return him in the condition you found him.”
He later added:
“The dragon sculpture he lives with is frustrated and lonely.”
If I were investigating this, my first port of call would be to check any college dorms in the vicinity or look for any teenagers with green paint on their hands, as this has ‘bored kids pull a prank’ vibes all over it.
Here’s hoping this malformed yet oddly loveable Shrek is being looked after carefully and that his trip away from home will come to an end soon. Users on social media have a couple of theories about who might be behind the crime:
And some are just happy they weigh more than a concrete Shrek (take your wins where you can get ’em):
Whatever else happens in this case, we hope he’s returned soon, as it must be awful to know that your Shrek is out there in the world without you.
But somehow we suspect this story isn’t ogre yet.
Published: Feb 3, 2023 05:59 am