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vin diesel fast and furious
via Universal

Science proves beyond doubt that Vin Diesel’s love of tank tops almost always results in better movies

The Tolkien of Tank Tops has a method behind his madness.

After comparing the Fast & Furious franchise to The Lord of the Rings, Vin Diesel anointed himself as the Tolkien of Tank Tops, and it seems that the moniker is more than just ceremonial now that the numbers have been crunched.

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If you’ve seen even a handful of the actor’s movies over the years, then you’ll know that one of his biggest pet peeves is any item of clothing that has sleeves. When there’s a chance to wear a vest, you can be damn sure the longtime Dominic Toretto will take it, but a maniacal Redditor has actually waded through the data to uncover that it genuinely yields better and more successful films.

vin diesel fast & furious 9
via Universal

For those who don’t want to be bored by statistics, the crux of the matter is that the more time Diesel spends onscreen wearing a tank top, the better-received it tends to be among critics and audiences, not to mention the fact the project in question typically tends to earn more at the box office, although that data is likely skewed due to the global popularity of The Fast Saga.

Thanks to such incredible nuggets of information such as “The seven movies that feature him wearing a black shirt with no sleeves have the highest Tomatometer average with a Fresh 62% score,” “The seven movies that feature him wearing a black tank top have the highest IMDb User Score Average with a average score of 6.45,” and “The five movies that feature him wearing a gray button up shirt with no sleeves have the highest worldwide box office average,” it really is a sign of quality.

The day Vin Diesel wears a turtleneck will be sad day not just for cinema, but for his career.


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Scott Campbell
News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves; Words. Lots of words.