Chris Pine might want to stick to the day job after his disastrous directorial debut can’t buy a good review to save its life

Any actor that decides to dabble in directing is largely driven by ego, but based on the first reviews for Poolman, we can safely assume that Chris Pine will not be following Ben Affleck’s path towards critical, commercial, and awards season glory.

The only one of Hollywood’s favorite Chrises yet to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been holding onto his passion project for a while, and as harsh as it sounds, it really doesn’t seem to have been worth it all. Following its recent premiere, the knives were immediately sharpened, pulled out, and then plunged repeatedly into Poolman‘s lifeless corpse, rendering it dead on arrival.

Comparing it to Chinatown – a certifiable classic of cinema that remains as incredible now as it was nearly 50 years ago – has aged like warm milk being propelled directly into the sun in an instant, with the tale of Pine’s title character (also known by Darren Barrenman) stumbling upon a water heist looking as if it’s in danger of being ranked among the year’s worst.

Annette Bening, Danny DeVito, Ariana DeBose, Jennifer Jason Leigh, DeWanda Wise, and Clancy Brown are just some of the other names to make up the star-studded ensemble, only for it to end in disaster for all involved. Fair play to Pine from continuing to branch out and test himself on a creative level when it would be all too easy for him to coast by on his ridiculously handsome face and natural charisma, but this seems to be one experiment that couldn’t possibly have gone any worse than it has.