Marjorie Taylor Greene wants readers for her newsletter, and people are already like ‘no’

Hold up! What if instead of just seeing Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) or hearing her screech in Congress on the House Committee on Oversight and Accountability and in the hallways holding balloons, you could also read what she has to say? Well, you’re in luck because MTG has a newsletter! What a blessing for us common folk.

You can revisit all of MTG’s fun moments from the past week, like when she tweeted that “I’m not a doctor, but I have a PhD in recognizing bullsh*t.” Does she know the difference between a doctor and a doctorate? Does it even matter? Oh, here’s another good one regarding the impeachment of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. Greene wants to desperately claim the credit for this one and own it herself.

In a section of her newsletter called “Leading on Capitol Hill,” Greene said: “After introducing my Articles of Impeachment on the House floor, they were referred to the Homeland Committee to be marked up and reported favorably to the House.” Honestly, it’s some good political doublespeak, but that’s not exactly how it went down.

The House has been trying to impeach Mayorkas since since the House won a majority in 2022. Representatives Pat Fallon (R-TX), Andy Biggs (R-AZ), Greene (the first time) and Clay Higgins (R-LA) have all introduced articles to impeach for the last year, but got no traction. Greene filed again on Nov. 23, and it failed to pass. It was deferred (notice how Greene said “refer”) to the Homeland Security Committee, where it was retooled and then voted on twice before it squeaked through. Also, he will definitely be acquitted in the Senate. This is politics, folks. Nothing happens but a lot of noise and yelling, well with Greene anyway.

What other hot topics are in the newsletter, you ask? Not to worry, we read these things so you don’t have to (I deserve a raise, right?). There’s a notice that you can become an intern in Greene’s Washington office. You can work “closely” with different teams on Greene’s staff, and learn to make copies, and get coffee for a whole office all while witnessing history happen in front of your eyes.

Here’s something she neglected to mention in her newsletter: The Supreme Court rejected her appeal challenging the fines given to her for not wearing a mask on the House floor in 2021. After a warning and a first offense, she was fined $500 for the first offense, and $2,500 for each additional one. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution revealed she owes more than $100,000 in fines, which will be taken out of her House salary of $174,000. Freedom is a choice, and for Greene it’s an expensive one. Still, not even a cursory mention? Why, Marjorie? Why? Not that this will affect her too much, considering she’s rich.

Now that we’ve covered the most salient points of what was a very engaging newsletter (sarcasm), let’s see what the fine people of the Internet are saying about it. “Literally the LEAST RESPECTED member of congress!” one person said. “You’re not even on the short list for the vice presidency,” said another. It’s slightly off topic but we all know Greene would sell her own kidney on the web for that job.

Here’s another good one: “You have done NOTHING for your constituents. Have you helped reduce the costs of living? Made life more safe? Improved health care? We don’t care about your culture wars. Freedom means folks can make their own choices unless they injure others or break laws.” Pretty spot on. Greene realized pretty early that screaming the loudest and being the most obnoxious captures everyone’s attention, unfortunately. To be fair, there were some supporters as well, saying things like “Thanks,” “God Bless,” and “America!”

If her newsletter takes off, is a podcast far behind? It’ll probably have a real fun name like “Talkin’ Freedom with MTG” or “I can’t believe they elected me to Congress” or “Dear God how do I sleep at night.” Regardless, MTG is here and her newsletter is here and all we can do is bask in the glory of rich politicians like her prioritizing angry diatribes over the plight of the common man. This is the system we live in, everyone. Isn’t that fun?