‘The allegations are insane’: Why is the Pokémon Typhlosion ‘not like us?’ The bizarre leaked story, explained

In retrospect, calling the company “Game Freaks” should have tipped us off earlier. The famed Pokémon developer, Nintendo, and The Pokémon Company are currently reeling from a humungous hack that’s seen an enormous amount of internal data about the history and future of Pokémon make its way online.

This has shed some new light on old classics, though the absolute highlight has to be the disturbing new information about the secret origins of Pokémon Gold/Silver starter Typhlosion. You may have seen the memes popping up on social media already, with other cartoons of other Pokémon whispering that the fire type is “not like us” or in big trouble:

So, what the heck is going and why is everyone mad at this specific Pokémon?

The shocking truth of Typhlosion, explained

Contained within the leak was a bizarre short story penned by a Game Freak employee that opens with the ominous line: “A long time ago, when the boundary between Pokémon and human was unclear.” This feels like the start of some morally questionable fan fiction more than something you’d expect to see linked to some official canon, and the rest of the story doesn’t disappoint.

The story is set in the past and follows a young girl collecting firewood for her village. While deep in the forest, she encounters a mysterious handsome man, who invites her to spend the night in his place. The strange man is then revealed to be a Typhlosion in disguise, who promptly bewitches the young girl and fathers a bizarre half-human/half Pokémon child with her.

The Typhlosion then explains that to keep his child “wife” he needs to murder her father, with the girl frantically talking him down: “Please stop. Please don’t kill my father. How can I live with you after killing my family?” The girl eventually returns to the village with her bizarre Pokémon child hybrid, only to be taunted by the villagers and once again driven “into the depths of the forest.” The story ends with the chilling coda:

“The two never returned. That’s how people found out. Typhlosion is half human.”

The reaction

Pokémon fans have taken this revelation to heart, spawning an apparently endless series of memes showing Typhlosion in a sinister Diddy-like light:

However, for some cultural context, it’s also been pointed out that Typhlosion is inspired by the Japanese myth of the Mujina, a shape-shifting badger creature with a habit of deceiving and tricking humans. Then again, it’s unlikely that Typhlosion is going to live this story down anytime soon, as Nintendo absolutely don’t want stories about Pokémon impregnating young girls available for all to read.

At least this is the right season for some creepypasta, even if we didn’t expect it to originate within the bizarre bowels of Game Freaks. And yes, we’re going to underline it one more time, as the clue was in the company’s name all along!