Christmastime is just around the corner, and with it will come the unending laughter of all the children lucky enough to have made Santa’s Nice List, an honor that probably comes by way of treating your parents’ word as law, avoiding offensive music, and centering your diet around non-GMO almonds.
For Santa himself, however, it’s a different story. All he wants to do is make it through the work day, return home to the North Pole, and go to bed with a full belly and empty jingle bells. Except, this year, he simply couldn’t wait until he got home, and TikTok‘s @rissie1970 had the perfect angle for watching Santa pen himself onto his own Naughty List.
In just 10 measly seconds out of who-knows-how-many more, the full, hilarious scope of Rissie’s predicament is made regrettably clear. You see, as she and her husband were decorating for the holidays, they whipped out a collection of Christmas lights in the shape of Santa Claus, which had this unique feature where the bulbs would flash on and off in a way that make it look like he’s waving.
Unfortunately (and by that, we mean fortunately), Rissie’s husband neglected to position those bulbs properly, and so Santa’s hand is drooping far lower than usual. As a result, what’s supposed to look like a wave instead looks like Santa trying to bring his dreams of a white Christmas to life, in a manner of speaking.
As if the picture wasn’t perfect enough, the video also includes a loud and enthusiastic rendition of “Santa Claus is coming to town,” and I do not need to explain those comedic ins and outs to you.
Now, there’s probably someone out there who would take a gander at this and regard it with a disdainful gasp, and I sincerely hope such people find their way in this world sooner rather than later. More importantly, though, Santa’s alternative vice to milk and cookies would hardly be the first time that “Christmas” and “controversy” went hand-in-exhausting-hand.
Indeed, the outcry over a holiday wherein children sit under a tree and open presents goes as far back as the 1600s, when — according to the official website of the Cromwell Museum — British Presbyterians outlawed Christmas in the year 1640 following years of suspicion surrounding a lack of any mention of Christmas in the Bible, and the fact that people were getting too drunk.
Then you have the likes of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and other such holiday flicks that are defined by their raunchy modus operandi, much to the chagrin of parents and churchgoers who can’t fathom the idea of any media that isn’t squeaky-clean (who will then probably turn around and unwittingly defend “Baby It’s Cold Outside” with their whole chest).
And then there’s the whole “Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas” debate that politicians, podcasters, and thinktanks want us to have with each other, all of whom believe in our inability to recognize compassionate intent in one another, and who we have a responsibility to prove wrong.
Published: Dec 3, 2024 10:15 am