Ex-husband puts daughter in daycare during his custody days, asks the mother to cough up for the costs

A woman on Reddit has asked for advice after her ex-husband expected her to pay half the cost for putting their child into a daycare even though he didn’t need to. Now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for refusing to pay.

The post was shared on the popular r/AITA subreddit in which users share problems or situations and allow other Redditors to give them a bit of perspective and who they think is really in the wrong. In this case, the woman says that her ex-husband had called her to ask that she split the cost with him after he put their daughter in daycare during the days in which he had custody.

She explains that she had taken the week off and so he could have helped during the workday had he needed it. Her reason for refusing to split the costs is that he did not coordinate with her beforehand and if he had, they could have worked out a solution that worked for both of them rather than unnecessarily putting their child in daycare.

Completely unnecessary

Others in the subreddit were quick to side with the woman, echoing her sentiment that sending the daughter to daycare was completely unnecessary, “You lost out on time you could have had with your child, and he wants you to pay for it.” Wrote one person. The ex-husband could have simply asked the mother to care for the child while he was at work but for whatever reason he chose not to.

Another asked what the custody agreement states with regards to costs such as daycare. The woman responded that the agreement states costs need to be discussed beforehand. Considering he told her about it after he had already done it, that would surely render his request to split the bill null and void. One Redditor suggested it was a manipulation tactic while another pointed out that if she agreed to pay then it would likely keep happening.

In another comment the woman admitted that her ex was not great at planning things but most agreed that his lack of planning was not her problem. Hopefully the financial hit will serve as a lesson to him to be more organized in the future.

In conclusion, co-parenting can be a minefield sometimes, that’s why it’s important to communicate openly and plan things out ahead of time. In this case it seems pretty unanimous that the ex-husband was in the wrong here and that the mother should not have to pay for daycare costs during his time with their child (unless they agree beforehand).