Driver caught doing 135mph down highway, explains to cops they were simply rushing to collect a Chinese takeout

Speeding is neither big nor clever. Speed limits exist for a reason, and there’s a very short list of excuses you can give cops for breaking them. Perhaps the only one that’s guaranteed to work is having a woman in labor in the passenger seat.

And yet maybe there’s one other. In the Kilrea area in Northern Ireland over the weekend cops clocked a red Mitsubishi Evo doing more than 135mph on a highway, nearly double the 70mph speed limit. The driver was stopped and asked why they needed to be going so fast.

Their answer? They were on their way to pick up a Chinese takeaway. Probably a succulent one.

“Whilst travelling up to the Kilrea area earlier in the evening, one of our crews was passed by the pictured Red Mitubishi Evo, the Evo’s speed was measured along the A26 Lisnevenagh Rd and at times the vehicle was travelling in excess of 135 mph, this is nearly double the permitted speed for the A26 dual carriageway – the drivers explanation . . . . they were heading for Chinese takeaway!! This driver will also have their day in Court and could possibly face disqualification.”

Officers, please, surely there must be some leniency for a man simply hungering for some delicious Chinese take-out. After all, salt and pepper fries must be served at their maximum crispiness, and that’ll be ruined if they’re forced to be microwaved! And nobody wants congealed sweet-and-sour sauce!

“I see that you know your judo well”

As you might imagine, the people of the internet were united in their outrage over the cops getting between a man and his MSG-loaded banquet:

Live footage of the arrest.

Democracy manifest pic.twitter.com/b8H7cl10ch

— Rev. Volt (@volt_rev) April 20, 2026

Another poster points out that “he would have been driving extra slowly on the way back to avoid the takeaway flying around the car, so the average speed for the round trip was probably legal.” A fair point.

A motorist caught driving almost double the speed limit on a Co Derry road said they were on their way to collect a Chinese takeaway. https://t.co/iyWCZrC6dv

— TheJournal.ie (@thejournal_ie) April 20, 2026

Maybe the most sensible option would have been to order an immediate police escort to ensure this driver gets to his food as quickly and safely as possible. Possibly even a helicopter. Maybe throw a couple of egg rolls to the cops as a thank-you on the way back. Simple, sorted, job done. Bosh.