Woman wasn’t allowed to wear her hair up, pierce her ears, or eat cheese. Then she explains her 2 siblings are dead: ‘my parents are insane’

A TikTok creator going by @mikitothefuture has gone viral after sharing a detailed account of growing up under what she describes as extreme parental control. In the video, she lists a series of rules her parents enforced during her childhood, ranging from bans on flip-flops and pop music to restrictions on how she wore her hair. The video has sparked widespread discussion online about controlling parenting and its effects on children.

The woman, who appears to have grown up in Australia or New Zealand based on her use of local slang like “jandals” and “bogans,” says both of her parents were professional classical musicians.

She describes a household where she and her siblings were pushed heavily into performing arts, were not allowed to own gaming consoles, could not listen to the radio, and were forbidden from eating dairy. She also says she was not allowed to pierce her ears until she turned 16, and even then, only after years of begging.

In the opening moments of her TikTok video, she delivers a sobering disclosure before getting into the list of rules. “My parents are insane and when I say insane, I mean I was the oldest of three children and the two others are dead because they killed themselves,” she says. She adds that sharing these stories on TikTok has been therapeutic for her, describing it as “actually really good” for her well-being.

This is sadly not surprising when you look at what the research says

What she describes lines up with what psychologists call narcissistic or authoritarian parenting. Experts have long documented the harm this style of parenting can cause. One pattern she describes clearly is what researchers call “enmeshment,” where parents fail to treat their children as individuals with their own needs. 

Psychologist Ramani Durvasula told Today that narcissistic parents often communicate to children in many ways that they are not allowed to be separate from the parent, meaning a child having a different want or need is treated as something selfish.

The creator also describes how her parents pushed her and her siblings into classical music because, in her words, they “never made it” themselves. She says her parents were “living vicariously” through the children. 

According to CNN, educational psychologist Lori Day has described children raised by narcissistic parents as often fragile, noting that once they are separated from their parents, they struggle with basic independence and have vulnerable self-esteem.

The double standards in the household were also striking. The creator says the family was strictly forbidden from eating dairy, with screaming as the punishment for breaking that rule. Yet she describes watching her mother put cheese in her own food at dinner. When the children pointed it out, no explanation was given. 

She also mentions that her mother would mock relatives for physical traits like a “lopsided nose” or a “gap between the toes,” while at the same time viewing outsiders who were too confident as a threat to her children’s performing arts status. This kind of harmful parenting is not limited to the home, and there are other ways children are being put at risk by forces beyond their control today.

Research published in peer-reviewed journals has found a clear link between this kind of strict, controlling parenting and higher rates of suicidal thinking in young people. One study found that over 53 percent of adolescents who described their parents as authoritarian reported having seriously thought about suicide more than once. A separate long-term study that followed students for 13 years found that psychological control by parents had lasting effects on suicidal ideation that persisted well beyond childhood.

The creator says she was more openly rebellious than her brothers, and that the first chance she got, she dyed her hair bright pink. She also mentions a tattoo of her favorite childhood video game, a title called Three D Reading and Spelling Adventure, which was one of the few games allowed on the family’s internet-free computer. 

She says she plans to share more stories in future videos, noting that some of what remains on her list is “quite bad.” Stories like hers are a reminder of how much damage parental decisions can cause, and in the most tragic cases, families have been torn apart in ways that can never be undone. Her account has drawn significant engagement from viewers who say they relate to her experiences, with many sharing their own stories in the comments.