Teen who chose closed adoption says her sister assumed she would get the baby and called her the worst mother when she said no

A 17-year-old from Poland says her older sister assumed, without ever asking, that she would receive her baby after learning she was planning to place the child for adoption. According to a post shared on Reddit’s r/AITAH community, the teen was 21 weeks pregnant at the time and had already decided on closed adoption before the situation unfolded.

The teen, who posted under the username u/Due_Client_7347, said her ex-boyfriend left when he found out about the pregnancy. She stated that she wanted to continue her studies, that her financial situation at home with her mother was difficult, and that she did not feel she was in a position to parent. She said closed adoption was her considered choice, and noted that in Poland, many families are waiting for newborns.

Her older sister, 24, is reportedly dealing with infertility. In the post, she said the sister and her husband had been trying to have children for two years, had experienced multiple miscarriages, and had attempted in-vitro fertilization without success. The teen said her sister had always wanted a child who was biologically related to her.

The sister and her husband reportedly showed up to a pregnancy appointment without having discussed adoption with the teen beforehand

As said in the post, the sister and her brother-in-law asked to attend the teen’s pregnancy appointment, saying they wanted to make sure the baby was healthy and hear the heartbeat. When the teen asked why, they reportedly said they wanted to check on “their kid,” telling her they had assumed she would give them the baby since she was already planning to place it for adoption. The teen said this was the first time any such arrangement had ever been mentioned.

“They told me they just want to make sure their kid is fine,” the teen wrote. “I was dumfounded and asked them what the f–k they were talking about.” The teen said she told them she was not giving the baby to them. She explained that she would not feel comfortable seeing a child she chose not to raise and did not want a complicated family dynamic. 

According to her post, her sister began crying, and her brother-in-law started screaming at her, calling her a “selfish b—h.” Her sister allegedly called her “the worst sister and mother” for choosing to give the baby to strangers rather than family. Adoption arrangements within families can carry their own complications, as seen in another widely shared case where a family planning to adopt a child made a shocking discovery about who they were actually taking in. 

According to a follow-up Reddit post four months later, the teen gave birth to a baby girl and went through with the closed adoption. She said she met the adoptive parents several times beforehand and described them as “really good people.” She wrote that her sister and brother-in-law continued trying to persuade her to change her mind even after she had explained her reasons, and that the two sides had many arguments over it.

The teen said part of her extended family stopped speaking to her over the belief that the baby should have stayed within the family. She stated she has had no contact with her sister since and does not expect that to change any time soon. She said her mother, who was not supportive at the time, is now trying to understand her decision and is present for her. While painful separations in adoption can last years, some stories end differently, such as when a TikTok video reunited two Colombian adoptees raised apart. 

The post drew a significant response on Reddit, with many users appeared to side with the teen. One commenter wrote, “I think you made an incredibly difficult, super mature decision for the little girl.” Another pointed out a contradiction in the sister’s position, writing, “They don’t want to adopt, or at least the sister doesn’t, because she feels she can’t love a child without bio ties or whatever BS.” A third commenter noted, “Imagine the sister got the baby, she would drop her off to OOP to babysit. If OOP said no, she would be like, ‘she’s your baby though.'”