Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters Red-Band Trailer Warns Against Sweets

With the new Evil Dead red-band trailer just recently released, I have come to expect some serious gore and/or nudity in my red-band trailers. What’s the point of making them ‘mature’ if you don’t get the good stuff? Now that the new Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters red-band trailer has hit, I’m honestly a little worried.

I mean, is this the good stuff? The trailer gives us a little bit of blood, a few swear words, a public service announcement against taking candy from strangers, and Jeremy Renner going for swim. That’s about it. They really did need to give us something interesting to go on, because Hansel And Gretel continues to look like the Van Helsing of 2013 (or Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, whichever floats your boat).

The plot follows the young fairy-tale kiddies who burned a witch in her own oven into their adult years. They have become witch hunters, because those are necessary in fairy-tale land. The official synopsis is as follows:

After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches…their past.

All right, not too bad for a big-budget action/horror flick. I can get behind both Renner and Arterton, and the rest of the cast includes Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare and Zoe Bell. So far, so good. So why does the trailer make it look so very … dull? The jokes are predictable and the action par for the course. Not much gore, a few swear words – though I doubt enough to get that dreaded R-rating – and we really do have what’s basically a Van Helsing with witches instead of vampires. Color me unimpressed.

Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters comes out January 25, facing off against Movie 43 and Parker, so it’ll probably be the best of the batch for that week.

Check out the red-band (and somewhat NSFW) trailer below.