Mystery solved! Everyone go home! After much speculation and rumors of everything from UFOs, Star Wars sequels, and Walt Disney vs. aliens, we now know (probably) what Disney’s Tomorrowland is going to be about. Brace yourself: this is the description that has been going around to casting agencies, in full:
A teenage girl, a genius middle-aged man (who was kicked out of Tomorrowland) and a pre-pubescent girl robot attempt to get to and unravel what happened to Tomorrowland, which exists in an alternative dimension, in order to save Earth.
Wait. Hold the phone. A genius middle-aged man and a pre-pubescent girl robot? Alternative dimensions? Save the Earth? I cannot be the only one who thinks that that sounds incredibly, monumentally, astronomically … stupid.
The slightly fuller plot synopsis gives us a bit more to go on: George Clooney’s character is Frank Walker, a boy inventor who is kicked out of Tomorrowland – a place where science reigns supreme. Walker falls for a girl robot who assists him in sneaking into Tomorrowland. The story proper kicks in many years later, when baddie David Nix (Hugh Laurie!) is in charge of Disneyland. Naturally he has become corrupt, banishing creative thinkers and focusing on nothing but technical advancement. Enter Walker yet again, there to save the day with the help of spunky girl-hero Casey and Athena the robot, who is still in arrested adolescence.
If that sounds ridiculously confusing, it’s because it is. In fact, it’s bleeding nonsensical, isn’t it? After all this wonderful speculation and boxes full of mysterious objects, we’ve got a typical Disney plot: family unit, evil masterminds, dimensional travel. Surprised? No. A little saddened? Well, yeah. I also just realized that this may be casting George Clooney as a man in love with a girl robot.
The one bright light in all of this is the presence of director Brad Bird, whom I trust to deliver the goods. I’m skeptical about Damon Lindelof, who penned the script for Tomorrowland, given his tendency to mistake twists and red herrings for plot and character development. But this is a Disney film.
There’s always the chance that this is yet another clever marketing ruse to distract us from the real story: namely, that no one, including Bird, has any idea what this movie is actually about. One can only hope.
What do you think about the plot of Tomorrowland? Have I let my cynicism get the better of me? Let us know in the comments.
Published: Mar 4, 2013 10:21 am