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Machete Kills Introduces Sofia Vergara And Her Machine Gun Jubblies

If there's one thing Robert Rodriguez does right, it's showing off his typically exquisite female cast in brilliant character posters and screen shots that get men even more pumped for his already bro-tastic action flicks. Machete Kills is no different, already showcasing a fur-draped Lady Gaga, a now smoldering Alexa Vega, and Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio - but Sofia Vergara's new character poster takes the cake on violent sexuality. Talk about going out in style!
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If there’s one thing Robert Rodriguez does right, it’s showing off his typically exquisite female cast in brilliant character posters and images that get men even more pumped for his already bro-tastic action flicks. Machete Kills is no different, already showcasing a fur-draped Lady Gaga, a now smoldering Alexa Vega, and Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio – but Sofia Vergara’s new character poster takes the cake on violent sexuality. Talk about going out in style!

Yes, thanks to the ridiculous brilliance of Robert Rodriguez, the brand new poster for Machete’s next adventure sports a fully loaded bra for Vergara’s character Madame Desdemona, lighting up the image with both sexuality and awesomness. I know, I’m being a total “bro” about this, but how can you not just love the creative genius Rodriguez brings to his films and characters which make them so damn memorable. I mean, come on, machine gun jubblies, how could I have missed them!

Not only do I want to see Machete Kills ten times more now, and thankfully now I have another poster to accompany my Michelle Rodriguez “She,” but Rodriguez is also adding a nice nostalgic reference to his vampire stripper film From Dusk Till Dawn. Remember Tom Savini’s character Sex Machine and his surprise cock gun? Looks like men aren’t the only ones able to partake in some immature weaponry which will cause most audiences to roll their eyes but also love every minute of it. There’s something to be said about equal rights here too, correct?

I was already going to be attending a midnight screening of Machete Kills before I saw this poster, but now I seriously can’t contain my excitement. Rodriguez’s unique sense of south-of-the-border style brings so much life to every movie he directs, and I feel like only he has established a reputation ballsy enough to convince Sofia Vergara to shoot bullets out of those monster warlocks. Kudos Robert Rodriguez, the male population is applauding you.

Catch Machete Kills starring Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Mel Gibson, and Danny Trejo when it opens September 13th, 2013.

But for now, feast your eyes on Sofia Vergara!


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Image of Matt Donato
Matt Donato
A drinking critic with a movie problem. Foodie. Meatballer. Horror Enthusiast.