Emma Watson Will Not Be In The Fifty Shades Of Grey Movie

Breathe a sigh of relief, everyone. There are some things that we’re not going to have to see any time in the near future. The recent rumors concerning Emma Watson and the Fifty Shades Of Grey movie have been dispelled. Watson has stated unequivocally that she will NOT be appearing as Anastasia Steele in the filmed adaptation of the popular book series.

Everyone OK now? Take a moment. I’ll wait.

Watson took to Twitter to voice her total lack of interest in playing the lead in E.L. James’s ludicrously popular novel.

“Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life.”

Thank you, Ms. Watson. I can breathe a bit easier now knowing that Hermione Granger, and well-educated young lady Ms. Watson, will not be appearing in what is likely to be the most godawful – and godawfully popular – book to film adaptation ever committed to celluloid.

There are other actresses interested in the part, however, including Mila Kunis and Emma Roberts. Those that really want to see Fifty Shades Of Grey larger than life will not be disappointed. Current favorites for the lead character Christian Grey are Henry Cavill, Matt Bomer, and Ryan Gosling, but so far no one has actually been cast.

I would like to know how they’re going to pull this one off – pun intended. In what universe will Fifty Shades Of Grey turn into something that is NOT hardcore pornography? This is a book trilogy mostly made up of an older man engaged in an S&M relationship with a young woman. A poorly written book trilogy, I might add. How they will manage to translate it to the screen without bringing back the X-rating, I do not know. Nor do I particularly care to find out.

Find out we will, however, because Fifty Shades Of Grey the movie will happen no matter how much we fear it.  Pre-production has already begun, with a script by Kelly Marcel, whose main claim to fame is that she wrote the UK musical version of Debbie Does Dallas. I swear, I am not making this up.

Are you disappointed that we will not be seeing Emma Watson take on (or off) Fifty Shades Of Grey? Let us know what you think in the comments.