William Fichtner Joins Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Up until now, my righteous indignation with the very existence of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot (produced by auteur-extraordinaire Michael Bay) has been largely justified. But now there is a piece of casting news about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that does not make me want to gag myself with a spoon.

William Fichtner has been cast in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, in an as-yet unnamed but reportedly ‘iconic’ role. Since we already know who the Turtles are, and who Splinter is and who – sigh – will play April O’Neill, I think we’re pretty much left with villain roles. Could Fichtner be taking on the part of Shredder? Or the ‘brain in a TV set’ part of Crang (who has not showed up in any of the big screen adaptations but really should)? Then of course there’s Bebop and Rocksteady, the badass mutant warthog and rhino respectively. Man, this show was really screwed up, wasn’t it?

Shredder is the best candidate for Fichtner, though, who has a tendency to play villains. Shredder is the only truly ‘iconic’ part that has yet to be announced. There’s always Casey Jones, of course, but I cannot see Fichtner being believable as a hockey-playing layabout. One never knows, of couse.

Fichtner has really been working. He’s already going to show up as the nasty Butch Cavendish in The Lone Ranger this summer, and then appear beside Matt Damon in Elysium. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will add yet another major film to his already impressive resume.

So while I continue to mull angrily over Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the continued success of Michael Bay, and how much I dislike Megan Fox, the villain will at least likely be entertaining. At this juncture, and with this film, I’m pretty much taking what I can get.