The latest featurette for Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg’s Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales has pulled into port – and not a moment too soon.
Disney’s long-in-development actioner is now beginning to come into view, and is expected to lay down the anchor in time for its theatrical release on May 26th. The lukewarm reaction to 2011’s On Stranger Tides – among critical circles, at least – was enough to prompt the Mouse House to toe the line of a franchise reboot with Dead Men Tell No Tales, and though box office forecasts predict a commendable debut ahead of Memorial Day Weekend, the early critical consensus for Rønning and Sandberg’s star-studded adventure hints that Pirates 5 could be veering toward choppy waters.
For instance, in his review, our own Matt Donato deemed Dead Men Tell No Tales to be a forgettable foray onto the high seas, and even Jack Sparrow’s infectious energy – an infectious energy that is now beginning to err on the side of cliché – can’t save the sequel from plunging into the murky depths of mediocrity.
Disney’s latest is no pleasure cruise. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is a two-hour movie that feels doubly long, teasing this treasure that’s nowhere to be found. All the greatest franchise hits are played: Sparrow’s Black Pearl, Sparrow’s alcoholism, Sparrow’s fetching comments about whorishness. Only this time you’ll feel like you’re drowning under exposition, and unnecessary side-plots that tangle like a knotted fish net. Too long, too slight and too full of blubber.
As for this featurette in particular, it’s designed to lend viewers a last-minute overview of the film’s ragtag crew, before dividing friend (see: Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Hector Barbossa) from foe (Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazar).
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales will be with us on May 26th.
