‘Barbie would say ‘horrific’ to no shoes’: Britney Spears may not be Barbie but she proves she’s still got moves

All of America seems to be in love with Barbie and her portrayal by Margot Robbie, but let’s not forget our original American princess: Britney Spears. That’s right. Everyone’s favorite misunderstood slap victim is back to dance her way into our hearts again, and damn if she isn’t good at it.

Spears took to social media to show off some inspired dance moves in a sheer fancy top and pink underwear (I know nothing about fashion). It’s high energy and ends with her gyrating on the floor. Also, her house looks really nice.

Spears captioned the video “Barbie would say ‘horrific’ to no shoes but I’m not Barbie … I’m Maria River Red.” The no shoes reference is from when Barbie realizes her foot doesn’t naturally arch in her shoes because she’s having “irrepressible thoughts of death.”

Maria River Red, however, is the name that Britney switched her Instagram account to in July. She also claimed in January that she was changing her name to River Red, but that post was deleted.

Why? This is one of those mysteries that may never be solved. Some people think it could be the name of her next album, although one hasn’t been announced. Others think it’s an anagram of “I’ve remarried” but that’s a stretch by any means.

The truth is we have no idea, and maybe that’s the point (but probably not). The truth is that Spears is regaling us with her dancing once again, and maybe we should just all be grateful for that. You do you, Maria!