Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson recently announced that his character Hobbs from the Fast & Furious franchise was getting a spinoff, but it’s giving off real Black Adam vibes, and we all know how that went down. Picking up on this, people have been roasting him to oblivion, and it’s pretty great.
Johnson has always been weirdly charismatic and likeable, but that veneer wore off a bit after he bullied his way onto the DCU and tried to turn the godawful Black Adam into a franchise. With that black mark on his character, this new push for Hobbs feels kind of narcissistic and desperate.
Look, I’m not a movie star. Who knows what’s going through this very muscular man’s head, but it feels like sometimes these people forget that they’re just adults playing make believe. How much money and attention does one human need?
Johnson made a video from Hawaii and said he was “100 percent confirming to you guys around the world that yes, it is true, Hobbs is back.” That’s right. The character absolutely no one was clamoring for is somehow getting his own movie. Once again, it feels like Johnson is going to shove this movie down our throats whether we like it or not.
Okay, enough Johnson-bashing let’s get to the fun. This one speaks for itself:
This is of course a reference to when Johnson shoehorned Cavill into Black Adam to try and kickstart a franchise. Didn’t work.
How does Vin feel about this?
Someone else said: “Audience First? Yet Black Adam basically ignored the entire lore & backstory of the character…”
This one’s also pretty true. Johnson’s playbook is to do something he wants to do and then claim the fans were ravenous for it. This is presidential-level mental jujitsu here. Please don’t let this man become president one day.
People started to really pile on because it’s fun to make fun of someone who takes themselves way too seriously just because they recite lines to a camera. One meme that got a lot of heat was the Avengers clip where Thanos says “You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me.”
Here’s another good one: “Huge public beef with Vin Diesel, Black Adam ate shit at the box office, and now he’s back for a new Fast like it’s a huge win and nothing ever happened. A special kind of actor brain. No one’s doing it like The Rock.”
Another fun diss: “I ain’t trying to go back to wrestling after Black Adam.” Other takes involve Johnson needing the money to pay off Black Adam investors, or him desperately needing work after how bad the movie flopped.
It’s hard to feel bad for a jacked millionaire with a God complex who needs to be loved by everyone. Maybe Hobbs will flop too. That will also be hilarious (to me).
