Elon Musk force feeds Twitter a steady diet of creep, now with 50 percent more cringe

Here’s a thought experiment: Imagine, if you will, that you’re Elon Musk—stay with us now—one of the richest people in the world, and you’re just sitting at your computer, giddy with anticipation as you wait for midnight to come so you can post a meme that will be timestamped Feb. 14, aka Valentine’s Day. It’s a good meme. An epic meme. A meme you’ll tell your grandchildren about. You are quite pleased with this meme. You are proud.

The meme in question, which you (you’re Musk, remember) tweeted at 12:35 am ET, features two young women—one blond, one brunette. Maybe they’re 18, maybe they’re 25, maybe they’re 17. Whatever, they’re young. The blond woman, wearing a black long-sleeved top and no pants to speak of, is standing over the dark-haired woman, clad in a low-cut black top and stylish drop necklace, and holding her head back by her hair.

Man, this is already such a great meme!

Right, so, the blond standing woman is holding the brunette seated woman by the hair with one hand and holding a bottle of white liquid to her lips with the other. It’s milk, right? Surely, it’s milk. Let’s just go ahead and assume that it’s milk. The seated woman is looking up, some might say pleadingly, as if she maybe doesn’t want that alleged milk put to her lips. But if she doesn’t want it, why isn’t she pushing the bottle away? Why can’t we see her hands? What’s going on with her hands?!

You are seriously happy as a clam. You have won Valentine’s Day with this meme. You have 100 percent understood the assignment. Herewith is the meme of which we speak:

You pat yourself on the back for a job well done. This is clearly the perfect meme to illustrate how Daddy Elon nourishes the tweeting masses, and how your tweets are the life’s blood of Twitter. It does not make women feel in any way gross, objectified, or moderately queasy. It does not make anyone think of sexploitation flicks or human sex trafficking. And it certainly doesn’t have any Twitter users tweeting anything alluding to the sexual misconduct allegations leveled against you in 2018, like this:

As someone accused of demanding sexual favours in exchange for money and/or a horse, I wouldn’t be leaning into this if I were you.

@MikeStuchbery_ via Twitter

Happy Valentine’s Day, Elon! We can’t wait to see what you have in store for Easter.