We are so here for the trend of angry middle-aged men destroying their possessions for confused political reasons. Nothing makes my day like watching a gammon-faced man in wraparound shades destroying his Harley Davidson in revenge(?) for them “going woke” or someone buying crates of Bud Light, pouring them down the toilet, and rambling incoherently about pronouns.
There are a million other boneheaded examples out there, but the response should always boil down to “dude, you already paid for that thing, the company doesn’t care.” But last week one guy plumbed exciting new depths of patheticness! Check out this weirdo and his fake Taylor Swift guitar:
The incident took place at the Ellis County Wild Game Dinner, the social event of the season if you’re desperate to eat roadkill in a drab and drafty concrete warehouse with a stained floor. The man’s motives are admittedly unclear — perhaps he didn’t manage to get Eras Tour tickets and is taking out his anger the only way he knows how — but the most likely option given that beard, shirt, and alarmingly high blood pressure is that he’s not happy about Swift endorsing Kamala Harris.
Now, let’s be clear, taking this video at face value and seeing a guy pay $4,000 bucks to destroy a guitar signed by Taylor Swift is reason enough to giggle at him. But, perhaps predictably, it turns out Swift has been nowhere near this guitar. Like, ever.
Huffpost reports that Swift’s merch company has stepped in to explain that any guitar signed by Swift come with a certificate of authenticity, which this guitar doesn’t have. And, anyway, they also underline that Swift did not sign this specific guitar. Ultimately this was a fundraiser in aid of “agricultural education for local youth,” so at least this moron is facilitating kids in his town being told what a cow is.
The stunt aimed to annoy Swifties, teasing them that a guitar they’d kill to own is being obliterated. Predictably Swifties have a higher tolerance for trolling than the average poster, their resilience having been forged in the white-hot furnace of social media fandom. As such, the actual reactions start at bemusement and go straight to outright mockery:
Another pointed out that this fake signed guitar costs just $152.50 on eBay:
And yes, if this were us we would be mortified that this video was being watched and laughed at by millions of people all around the world:
But, c’mon dude, surely you have a daughter or niece that might like a Taylor Swift-themed guitar — even if it’s not legit signed by her. Oh, who are we kidding, we all know that this guy’s daughters don’t speak to him anymore after what he did during the custody battle and that he’s banned from family gatherings after ruining three Thanksgivings in a row with unhinged MAGA rants about wokeness.
In the meantime, we’ll remember his face, because if Trump loses the election in November we fully expect to see him smashing the windows of the U.S. Capitol building when the MAGA minions fail to accept yet another humiliating defeat.
