From the executive producer of Love Is Blind, the reality TV show Ultimatum: Queer Love follows a group of couples who come to the show to decide once and for all whether the hope for commitment is shared by both parties, and whether they should move on to the next step of their relationship, or simply move on. Fans of the show were treated to an explosive finale as the expected reunion between Tiff Der and Mildred Bustillo didn’t go the way anyone planned. The couple, who got engaged on Ultimatum day, revealed they weren’t together anymore. Things got worse from there.
Why did the couple break up? The relationship was “unhealthy” and “tumultuous,” they both said. Bustillo revealed she was arrested after one of the couple’s fights turned violent, per a recent deep dive on the reunion in People, and she admitted to attacking Der with a pet gate. They argued until Der left the set in tears.
Der, who uses they/them pronouns, said “It’s so hard to [take] a three-year relationship and try to sum it up to someone that wasn’t a fly on the wall for the last three years.”
As for how Der feels about Bustillo, they said “I do wish her nothing but happiness. Obviously, we’re not meant for each other. “I think the way I can best sum up that whole reunion [is] there’s a lot of personal things that have happened within her family and a lot of things that completely go against my morals.”
Der also touched on “accusations” they were “financially dependent” on Bustillo, but that the decision to end the relationship was based on Bustillo crossing a line.
“My reason of why I left was something that is so much deeper and something part of my core values, and it’s something that I just don’t stand for. I don’t stand for physical violence. I don’t stand for any of that, especially when she has a child.”
Der went on to say that if Bustillo wasn’t going to change for her son, then she wasn’t “going to change for me.”
“It doesn’t matter what problems you have with the person — if you’re willing to communicate and work together, especially in a non-violent way, I’m all for it, but, unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all,” Der said.
The couple seemed to never get on the same page regardless. Check out this clip of them “communicating.”
Der said at the reunion they “wasn’t there to give her a smear campaign. I wasn’t there to hurt her. I was there to have peace. I walked away from that relationship months prior to that reunion, been in zero contact with her.”
Unfortunately, Der said, there were “still a lot of unresolved feelings” with Bustillo, who Der claims “was out for a smear campaign. She was literally out to try to ruin me. And we’re not the same. I’m very different from that. Hopefully, that shows in the reunion.”
The full season of The Ultimatum: Queer Love is streaming on Netflix now.