Meeting your loved one’s family is a daunting experience for anyone, but for Meghan Markle, it came with added layers of cultural differences and centuries-old protocols to navigate.
The relationship between Meghan Markle and the royal family began with promise in 2016. After a whirlwind romance that started with a blind date, Prince Harry found himself preparing to introduce his American girlfriend to his father, the future King Charles III. In his memoir, Harry describes meticulously coaching Meghan on royal protocols, including advising her to wear her hair down and minimal makeup, knowing his father’s preferences. The preparation even included rehearsing the proper curtsy and form of address.
Harry’s detailed account in Spare reveals his own anxiety about the encounter, stemming from his deep understanding of both his father’s formal nature and Meghan’s naturally warm personality. To his luck, Meghan remembered the instructions, avoiding an embarrassing moment at the last possible second.
Meghan Markle almost committed a Royal cardinal sin when she met King Charles III
The actual meeting at Clarence House proved to be a study in contrasts. The conversation flowed easily, with Charles showing genuine interest in Meghan’s acting career and the challenges of the entertainment industry. Harry recalled in his memoir that his father appeared impressed by Meghan’s confidence and intelligence, though Queen Consort Camilla seemed more interested in observing than participating in the conversation.
The most telling moment came at the end of the visit when Meghan moved to bid farewell to Charles. Harry describes physically flinching as Meghan leaned toward his father, knowing that Charles, like Prince William, wasn’t comfortable with hugs. Fortunately, Meghan opted for a traditional British cheek-to-cheek greeting.
“We all stood. Meg leaned towards Pa. I flinched; like Willy, Pa wasn’t a hugger. Thankfully, she gave him a standard British cheek-to-cheek, which he actually seemed to enjoy.”
This initial meeting would later be seen as a bright spot in what would become a more complicated relationship. In Spare, Harry suggests that tensions eventually arose not from personal antipathy but from institutional concerns. He reveals that Charles later expressed worries about financial constraints and, more significantly, about being overshadowed by a new, charismatic presence in the royal family – concerns that eerily echoed his experiences with Princess Diana. Harry draws direct parallels between Meghan and his late mother in terms of their “compassion,” “empathy,” and “warmth,” qualities that paradoxically may have contributed to the royal family’s apprehension.
The cultural differences in physical affection would continue to be a theme in Meghan’s interactions with the royal family. In the Netflix documentary Harry & Meghan, she describes herself as a natural “hugger,” noting that this tendency often caught British royals off guard. This cultural disconnect extended to her first meeting with Kate Middleton, where her attempt at a hug was met with reservation, highlighting the broader challenges of integrating American informality into the formal structures of the British monarchy.
The success of Meghan’s meeting with King Charles carried additional weight because it coincided with a period of significant transition within the monarchy. Charles was increasingly taking on more of Queen Elizabeth II’s duties, and the family was actively working to modernize its image while maintaining traditions. Harry reveals in his memoir that Charles’s positive reaction to Meghan initially seemed to signal a potential bridge between these competing priorities – tradition and modernization.
Alas, a good first impression was not enough to avoid friction. Combined, the Royals’ institutional resistance and Hollywood’s media scrutiny would eventually contribute to Harry and Meghan’s decision to step back from royal duties in January 2020. Since then, the family has been locked into a feud that seems nowhere near to be resolved.