Mysterious drones have been sighted in the skies above cities across the nation, sparking anxiety and a flurry of questions among U.S. citizens.
Cave troll Marjorie Taylor Greene, who we begrudgingly must accept as among those U.S. citizens, is likewise feeling the stress, but she’s communicating it a bit differently. Following the most recent report of yet-more unidentified drones, Greene took to X to share her non-solution to a problem that’s miles out of her paygrade.
No one in the U.S. government is asking American citizens for advice on how to deal with the drones. In fact, they’re not telling us to do anything in relation to the drones, other than avoid them, but Greene is at her best when no one wants her around. She’s interjecting her very unasked-for opinion anyway, and rallying against rules that don’t actually exist.
Greene is already up in arms — literally — over the drones and her imagined response from the government. No one in the government, even Greene’s loathed Biden administration, has advised Americans to shelter in place or stay inside to avoid the drones, but Greene’s already dreaming up a fictional scenario in which her rights are robbed by the evil government (that she works for), in a MAGA nightmare that repeats COVID-19.
That’s not what’s happening, to be clear, but good luck explaining that to old Marj, who’s concept of reality faded into nonexistence years ago. She’s completely convinced that the drones are a danger to Americans and that we’ll soon be directed to seek shelter, and that’s not an order she’s willing to follow.
Greene gloated about her plans to ignore governmental orders, should they ever come to pass, in her tweet, ranting that “if they try to tell us all to stay inside, stay home, shelter in place “FOR OUR SAFETY” from the drones, there is no way in hell I will comply with that absolute bullshit,” she wrote.
“Not doing it. No way. I’ll shoot the drones down myself along with every other red blooded freedom loving American.” She capped the tweet with an American flag for the patriots in the back, and riled up plenty of gun-toting support from her misled followers.
Thus far, all the United States government has said about the drones is that there is no indication of danger, and that we should not engage with the drones or attempt to shoot them down. And what did Greene take from that statement? That the drones are dangerous, that the government is set to order us into our homes, and that shooting them down is the clear best choice.
Greene’s completely opposite interpretation of governmental advice actually gives me an idea. I am among the bulk of humans with a relation — in this case, my sister — who is chronically late. My girl can’t get anywhere on time, and as a result my family has worked out a solution: Just tell her the wrong time. Give her a time 30-45 minutes ahead of when everyone else is set to arrive, and we’ll all breeze in the door at approximately the same time.
Since Greene seems to prefer an alternate interpretation of high-level orders, why not do the same with her? She seems to live in a perpetual opposite day, so if the Biden administration gives advice — say to shoot down the drones and stay outdoors — it’s entirely plausible that Greene will do the exact opposite, sprinting indoors to stow her guns safely and allow the country a moment of peace.
Published: Dec 17, 2024 12:05 pm