Baby fever is a hell of an infliction. Some are more vulnerable to it than others, but once it hooks itself to your veins, all that anxiety about sharp corners, vomit stains, rancid diapers, and 3am squealing completely dissipates. In its place? Full-blown parental infatuation with those chubby cheeks, innocent giggles, and the miracle inherent to every child’s existence.
Robert Pattinson is one such public figure who has tested positive for baby fever, with the Harry Potter alumnus seemingly unable to stop bragging about how his baby daughter — born in March 2024 and mothered by his longtime partner Suki Waterhouse — smells.
Per Vogue, Pattinson insists that his daughter’s smell is one of a kind, and quite simply could not refrain from geeking out it.
I remember people used to be like ‘oh, don’t you like the smell of babies, but I thought they were just smelling the baby powder. But then I had a baby, and I was like ‘my baby smells incredible.’ There’s something there, I can identify her. She doesn’t smell like other babies.
There’s a joke in here involving the enhanced smelling ability of vampires. I’m not going to make it.
In any case, Pattinson’s proud case of baby fever comes off the back of a rumor that he and Waterhouse had a secret wedding at a Caribbean resort this past New Year’s Eve. “Secret wedding,” of course, meaning that it actually wasn’t very secret at all (they invited close friends and family), and was simply held away from the eyes of strangers who have chosen to take an interest in the private life of Pattinson and Waterhouse, as any sensible folk would do.
The rumor, originally reported by Deuxmoi and aggregated by Hola, came from an unnamed source who claimed to be a server at the resort-turned-wedding venue.
Robert Pattinson and Suki Waterhouse got married at NYE at the Caribbean resort I work at! They were so cute and sweet. Their baby was there in a gorgeous little bridesmaids dress.
Pattinson and Waterhouse are known for keeping their private lives separate from their celebrity lives, to the point where Pattinson has even admitted that he has a habit of lying during interviews due to the general air of tediousness they tend to harbor. This could prove to be a dangerous practice, given his half-involvement with DC Studios as the Batman of the Reevesverse. Indeed, what if he gets tired of questions about his future in the Reevesverse or even the mainline DC Universe, and just starts giving outrageous answers about cameos and spoilers that send the comic book movie camp into a contrived frenzy? That’ll show ’em!
Batman, of course, is among the least interesting aspects of Pattinson’s artistry at the moment. The actor is set to spearhead Bong Joon-ho’s sci-fi dark comedy Mickey 17 (releasing to theaters on March 7), which will see him portray Mickey Barnes, a public employee known as an “expendable,” who can be resurrected with a new body and most of his memories upon death.
He’s also due to star alongside Jennifer Lawrence and LaKeith Stanfield in the horror comedy Die, My Love, and with Zendaya, Mamoudou Athie, and Alana Haim in the Ari Aster-produced romance film The Drama.
Published: Jan 21, 2025 12:04 pm